Sarcastic Lutheran

a confession

Personal confession:
I have such an antipathy for conservative-jesus-as-your-personal-lord-and-savior Christianity, and let's face it, Christians themselves- that it's a sin. Seriously, I hate that whole thing. I hate the smugness, the certainty, the Biblical (selective) literalism. I hate the exclusion of women (usually) and of gays (always). And it's not that I just don't understand it, trust me I do. I was raised in the Church of Christ - not the United Church of Christ mind you...the Church of Christ, which is like Baptist Plus. I can recite the party line with the best of them and I will go to any lengths to avoid being around these people. I feel like wearing a shirt everyday that says "I'm not that kind of Christian". Basically I find the whole thing profoundly creepy and uncomfortable. It's ok for me to disagree with them theologically, but I take it to the next level. If I am called to love those who persecute me (or, in my opinion, persecute the Gospel), then I'm doing a lousy job and that's not ok. I guess I'm saying I need to love the sinner but hate the bad theology. Or maybe I'm to just love the person and stop being such a theological bigot.

I am uncomfortable with a whole lot of Christianity. But the thing is, I'm Christian (note I didn't say "a" Christian...as that, to me, plays into the whole Western individualism gone amuck in the church thing ....another example of which is the "personal" lord and savior bit...you know - "personal trainer", "personal shopper", "personal assistant" and "personal lord and savior") Anyhow, in the emerging church conversation I have limited my interactions and conversation (almost) exclusively to my fellow Lutheran/Anglican tribe members and have avoided the post-evangelicals. This exhibits an enormous amount of hubris on my part, but there it is.

Here's why I'm struggling with this right now. There is an emerging women's blog that I occasionally try and participate in, they're a fine group of gals but I have no patience for comments sometimes left about how "unfortunate it is that there is swearing in the posts on a Christian blog". This nicey-nice Christian crap is why so many people want nothing to do with us. Are we really serving the gospel this way? In all fairness I'm sure my critics would say the same about the fact that I basically swear like a truck driver. Anyway, there is an emerging women's gathering in Portland that I'm considering attending. This is a huge step for me - to be willing to step outside my tribe a bit. So I poked around on the web looking for information about the event. I found a list of the organizers and looked at the home page from one of their churches. It looked amazing with lots of street kids and crazy dreadlocked pastors, but on their "about us" page the first thing was that "we believe the Bible is inerrant and totally true", which made me want to never stop slapping them. I couldn't simply think "huh, interesting" and leave it at that...no, it became personal. The thing is, I've met this woman and she's absolutely lovely...we just have differing views on scripture. I feel like maybe I'm ready to start getting over this enormous bias of mine, - which does nothing to improve the theology of my subjects, but simply unsettles me and feels like crap. Maybe it's time to put my theological money where my mouth is and BE a reconciling person in the world, not one who sets up more division between myself and others. You know, I travel all the time and attend events and meeting, consultations and planning teams with people who are my theological fellows. Perhaps I might gain something from being around people who also are Christian but who might have more traditional views than I. Perhaps God can actually be at work with and among decision-theology types. I suppose on some level my reaction against the evangelicals is a defense measure. Who I am was not ok to the conservative Christians in the church I was raised in and in order to avoid that awful feeling I reject them before they can reject me. OK, I get it. Once again God is speaking to me. The message is almost always the same: Get Over Yourself. But it's really hard.

A Prayer is needed:
Dear God,
Your followers make me crazy. I'm totally a jerk about this and I'm sorry. It'd be great if maybe you could try and improve some of the theology on the ground here, and if that's not going to happen then help me to not be so arrogant. Be with those whom I find most irritating and show me how to love them. This is pretty much only going to happen by your grace, which in the past has done for me what I could never do for myself, so I'm trusting you again. Your will, not mine be done (we can all be thankful for that)
In Jesus' name,
AMEN

AAR highlights

I just returned from the American Academy of Religion's annual conference which was held this year in Washington DC. Here are some highlights:
* eating dinner Friday night with about 30 Lutheran women theologians and scholars
* presiding at a session on religion and spirituality among the Deaf
* going for an hour long morning run in which I passed the Washington memorial phallus, I mean obelisk, the Lincoln memorial and the Vietnam memorial (I cried as I walked past those names thinking of all the families (on both sides) whose loved ones are dying right now in Iraq.
* Spending time with my friend Sara who's so smart and funny I can hardly stand it, and Ryan Torma who is my Partner in Lutheran emerging church crime.
* going salsa dancing until 2am with Sara, Ryan and this random Swiss guy we met (Christoph, who's absolutley lovely) who I referred to as "Zwingli" all night ...
* Hearing Brian McLaren, Peter Rollins and Phyllis Tickle's panel on emerging church. They were all brilliant.
* Theology Pub with the above, and about 40 others - scholars, Baptists, Nazarenes, Anglicans...it was a good conversation with lots of cross-pollination.
* Hearing papers on Men's studies in Religion; Men's studies is a perspective I've not experienced and hearing about men struggling with the nature of masculinity was really interesting ("Zwingli" was on this panel)
* Experiencing a Smithsonian exhibit on Bibles before the year 1000. It was thrilling to see these ancient codexes and illuminated manuscripts. (the guy at the convention book exhibit noticed how enthralled I was with the enormous, full-color coffee table book on the "Bibles before the Year 1000" exhibit and he asked if I was a starving grad student, I replied that indeed I was and that I could never afford such a book, but that I appreciated how totally beautiful it is...he then proceeded to slip it into a nice shoulder bag and say "then this is something that would probably mean a great deal to you, right?" and handed it to me with a smile.)
* Coming home and being with my kids this morning.

Brian McLaren and Pete Rollins

I will be hostessing a Theology Pub in Washington DC featuring Rollins and McLaren on November 19th at 7pm: Capital City Brewing Company across from the DC convention center, on the corner of 11th & H Streets NW in downtown DC. This is following a panel they are participating on at the AAR conference.

Show up. It won't suck.

If anyone reading this is going to be at the AAR/SBL (if you don't know what this is, trust me, you wouldn't care anyway...it's the American Academy of Reigion/ Society for Biblical Literature's annual meeting with like 10,000 academic study of religion geeks...a true nerdfest if ever there was one...see told you you wouldn't care) I am presiding at a session on Saturday morning on religion and spirituality among the Deaf, come say hi.

Ordination Island

Happy happy (I'm actually not being sarcastic) I met with my candidacy committee yesterday and they didn't vote me of ordination island, (which means they endorsed me). Also, they greenlighted my non-traditional internship, which is very good news indeed. This means that rather than going to a completely traditional parish somewhere and serving as their vicar for a year, I get to start my emerging church plant process while working with local congregational partners (so that I can become part of their communities and have regular opportunities to preach). Hopefully these partners will continue supporting the mission start. Needless to say, I'm pretty psyched about the whole thing...thanks for all of you who held me in their thoughts and prayers this week.

What is Emerging church, does it matter?

So, what is Emerging Church?

This is what people often ask me, and despite loads of "conversation" I still am unable to give what I consider to be a good answer. I know what I mean when I use the term, but that is certainly not a universal conception. The emerging churches that I have encountered have, to a great extent, been comprised of urban, post-modern, progressive young adults who are missionally minded, committed to community and spiritual practice while figuring out what it means to be followers of Christ in the messy, ambiguous world in which they find themselves. These communities vary greatly in "worship style"- from old-timey country to jazz, from techno-liturgica to rock and roll so it's surprising to me when those outside of the emerging church think it's about a worship style (this is due in large part, I would guess, to Zondervan Publishing Dan Kimball's books which are everywhere, these books are not without merit, but certainly not representative of the EC that I am familiar with)
What I often find is that people will take the missional and contextual piece of the EC and say, well, isn't my traditional rural ministry of mostly 70 year olds "emerging" because we are missional and contextual? Well, not really. This is not to say that you're not engaged in amazing and creative ministry, but to me, it doesn't line up culturally with the EC. But no one wants to say this. We all want to say "sure, you're emerging too, everyone is emerging...now let's hold hands and sing a song", but how accurate is that if almost all of the communities who are seen as emerging are young urban and post-modern? If the movement started out in this urban, postmodern cultural context, then do we use the same term for ministries outside of that cultural context, who are also missional? Now, I know this isn't the most profound thing to be thinking about, but I just find it weird. If the Spanish speaking Latino ministries are missional and contextual, then can I call my postmodern emerging church a Latino ministry because we are missional and contextual?
Am I just trying to be an elitest asshole?
Don't get me wrong, I think all of the church should be missional and contextual. I suspect that the way in which the emerging church will, in the end, influence the broader church is in this post-Christendom reorientation toward mission and context...which would be an amazing contribution.
For myself, all I can do is swear that I will not use the words "missional" and "contextual" again for a long, long time....I've clearly used my quota.

Esther

The Hebrew Bible readings from the lectionary lately have all been from the book of Esther and have made me recall one of the most powerful moments of my life, which occurred last year. I was raised in a fundamentalist church which did not permit women to even pray aloud in front of men. My parents attend a more evangelical than fundamentalist church in that denomination now (Church of Christ), but their church still does not permit women to have any sort of leadership in worship, down to forbidding them to be the ushers passing the collection plates. When I realized I was called to ordained ministry (I make this sound so simple, when in fact it was very messy and difficult), I was nervous about telling my parents for fear they wouldn't support my call. I very nervously told them that I felt called to emerging church ministry and that all the things that made me somewhat inappropriate for regular parish ministry (too tattooed, too sarcastic, too foul-mouthed...I could go on...) actually uniquely qualified me for emerging church mission development. My father stood up, got his Bible and read the verse from Esther when she goes to her uncle and says she's nervous about what God is calling her to do, to which her uncle says "you were born for such a time as this" (my paraphrase obviously). My parents then embraced me and prayed for God's blessing on my ministry. I can't express the grace in that moment.

Image is from the Veggie Tales video "Esther" in which Esther is a scallion of some sort and king Ahasuerus is, I believe, a pickle. Seriously, I really couldn't make this shit up.

Are you an ass? I am.

One issue I struggle with is that of becoming an asshole...I mean, more of an asshole.  I'm embarking on starting an "emerging church" in Denver (eventually) and am wondering how I might keep from thinking I'm some sort of ecclesiastical rock star.  God has given me some very public gifts for ministry, great.  I find myself simultaneously craving and repulsed by people's praise of my gifts.  This morning I stumbled on Brother Martin's (Luther)thoughts on this matter from his "Preface to the Wittenburg edition" (1539 ce) He's brilliant, self-effacing, and funny as hell:

If, however, you feel that you are inclined to think you have "made it", flattering yourself with your own little books, teaching, or writing, because you have done it beautifully and preached excellently; if you are highly pleased when someone praises you in the presence of others; if you perhaps look for praise, and would sulk or quit what you are doing if you do not get it  - if you are of that stripe, dear friend, then take yourself by the ears, and if you do this in the right way you will find a beautiful pair of big, long, shaggy donkey ears.  Then do not spare any expense! Decorate them with golden bells, so that people will be able to hear you wherever you go, point their fingers at you, and say, "See, See! There goes that clever beast, who can write such exquisite books and preach so remarkably well."

A prayer for today:
Dear God,
Thank you for my gifts.  May they always be used to point to you and not to myself.  I understand this is not likely to happen, but perhaps with your help I might be less of an asshole.
In Jesus' name,
AMEN

Blog Day 2006

Apparently today is Blog Day 2006. I'm not entirely sure what that means exactly, but I know that I should list 5 blogs I like that I haven't mentioned before:
eclectic itchings
ninja nun
stupid church people
swan dive
emerging women

Theology Pub

Tonight is the first monthly Theology Pub at the Mercury in Denver. This event is my idea and I am the hostess, therefore a prayer is in order:
"Dear God,
Bless this weird little thing where strangers gather over beer to talk about our experiences of you. May those who participate be brought closer to you. Above all God, please help me to not get in the way because you and I are both aware of my ability to fuck things up, and without you I am sunk."
In Jesus name,
AMEN.

Smells like Jesus

I am reading 2 Corinthians right now and love this passage:

For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not peddlers of God's word like so many; but in Christ we speak as persons of sincerity, as persons sent from God and standing in God's presence.

Questions:

1) How exactly do we go about smelling of Christ? Really this is such a weird notion: being the aroma of Christ. But perhaps it's pretty cool too. Smell is the greatest trigger for memory. If we can be the aroma of Christ, do we in our spirit, actions and words bring others to the memory of themselves as Imago Dei (made in the image of God)?

2) Who is sufficient for these things? Me? (perhaps) You? (perhaps) Pat Robertson? (no fu**ing way) Does hate, whether it is from Pat Robertson against gays, or from myself against Pat Robertson carry the aroma of Christ? Not so much, huh? It's amazing how vitriolic I can be about the religious right's vitriol. I'm a big fat hypocrite, of course this qualifies me to be a Christian, so there you go.

I'm kind of digging the word sufficient. Not perfect, not ideal, but sufficient. Kind of an easier mark to aim for.

3) I'm also digging the distinction between being peddlers of God's word and being sincere in Christ and standing in God's presence. Here is a distinction that I always look for in theology: does it point to me, or does it point to God?

the holy observer

Here is a "story" from The Holy Observer, which is sort of like The Onion for Christians -

Local Emergent Church Recedes

Rancho Buena Vista Community Church, until recently called Vista Journey, has "receded" from the "emergent" church movement, according to its pastor, Andrew Hardy. "Actually, Rancho Buena Vista Community Church was always our name. We only changed it for about six months while we were trying to 're-vision' ourselves in a way that would reach out to the 'postmodern' culture," said Hardy, making heavy use of air quotes. "Yeah, we were really into that whole 'emergent' thing for quite a while. But it got old real fast. Like I'm really gonna preach in a recliner for the rest of my career! I finally decided 'emerging' wasn't for us, and so I called a meeting of the 'Vision Keepers,' our fancy name for an elders board. We just decided to go back to being a regular old receding church."

emerging church quote

The following is from Steve Collins' blog small ritual and is a quote from Pete Ward's new book How (Not) to Talk to God:

Unlike those who would seek to offer a different set of answers to theological questions, those within the emerging conversation are offering a different way of understanding the answers that we already possess. In other words, those involved in the conversation are not explicitly attempting to construct or unearth a different set of beliefs that would somehow be more appropriate in today's context, but rather, they are looking at the way in which we hold the beliefs that we already have. This is not then a revolution that seeks to change what we believe, but rather one that sets about transforming the entire manner in which we hold our beliefs. In short, this revolution is not one which merely adds to or subtracts from the world of our understanding, but rather one which provides the necessary tools for us to be able to look at that world in a completely different manner: in a sense, nothing changes and yet the shift is so radical that nothing will be left unchanged.

Mercy Seat

I have spent a lot of time in the past few days with the good folks who started Mercy Seat, a new postmodernish Lutheran church plant in Minneapolis. They are going the triumverate route and as such are a trio of pastors: Mark, Kyle and Kae. Their worship is for the critically orthodox and is a liturgically rich Jazz service with excellent music. These people are like my lost tribe. It was like love at first theological discussion. Mercy Seat

A New Reformation - my thoughts on reading Matthew Fox

This is the first of what will be many posts on Matthew Fox's Book, "A New Reformation: Creation Spirituality and the Transformation of Christianity" (2005).

Fox is a controversial figure, an ex-catholic preist who has been engaged in creative-creation theology with the likes of Starhawk, a wiccan priestess and famous author. While I am not completely on Fox's bus, I appriciate the theological and ecclesiological questions he raises.

Fox offers an insight that I and my friends (who also occupy the lunatic fringe of The Lutheran Church) have been discussing for years: that we find ourselves in the midst of profound cultural and social shifts which in many ways mirror those of Martin and Katie Luther's time. We are experiencing a democratization of information, much like when the printing press was introduced. Power shifts from Nation-States to multi-national corporations mirror the sifts from fiefdoms to nation-states. We have also share a corruption of the church and theological ideology as well as an increase in the ranks of the educated elite.

Here's a great quote from Fox: "The current papacy can run the Vatican Museum and St. Peter's Basilica, but we can let go of religion and begin to get serious about spiritual practice. Protestantism can shed its apathy and ask not 'What did Luther or Calvin say five hundred years ago?' but rather 'What would Luther and Calvin say and do in today's global ecological and ecclesial crisis?' We can draw on rather than neglect, the riches of the Roman Church's mystics and prophets of past and present..." (17)

This seems like a bit of contradiction to me. I'm all for a new Reformation and a focus on Christian spiritual practice, but "let go of religion"? Hell no. I refuse to allow the church-as-it-is to be THE CHURCH. I would be willing to bet that Luther wouldn't abdicate either. He wasn't interested in letting go of religion, conversely, he wouldn't allow the church-as-it-was to be THE Church. He knew the time was right to REform the church. And the time is right again friends. It's up to us.

Monastisicm, but with sex and better hair

I have just returned from an amazing weekend in Seattle. There I participated in 2 conferences, one was a day long event at Church of the Apostles (www.apostleschurch.org) on New Monasticism. The next two days were spent at a conference call “The Church Has Left the Building”.

New Monasticism is a smaller movement within the emerging church which focuses on community, service and spiritual practices. Here are a few of the communities represented at the conference:

Camden House (www.camdenhouse.org) This is an amazing group of young people who have chosen to go into one of the most crime stricken, poverty infested and environmentally poisoned neighborhoods in the country: Camden, New Jersey. They are sponsored in part by the Catholic church across from their house - a congregation which refers to the Camden House community as “The Protestant Worker”. Seeking to answer the question “what is a Christian economy?”, the members of Camden House actively engage the environmental racism found in their community which is surrounded by Industrial waste and Super Fund sites by not only lively simply, but also developing a large community garden where neighbors (mostly prostitutes and drug addicts) can harvest produce during one of their community garden nights. Local school children are given tours of the Camden House garden and greenhouse where they can actually pick a green bean off the vine and eat it, a revolutionary act in itself. Children in the community are also encouraged to paint living room scenes on the sides of abandoned buildings (which outnumber buildings in use), and to shoot clover seeds in water out of Super Soakers at polluted fields (clover pulls toxins and pollutants out of soil).

The Simple Way, Philadelphia. (www.thesimpleway.org) Simple Way is another Christian intentional community focus on social action. These young people live in a welfare and drug neighborhood in Philly where their mission is “to love God. love each other. and follow Jesus”. Simple Way offers an arts and literacy after school program for kids in their community which includes a youth theater group. Shane Claiborne, Author of “The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical” and Simple Way community member describes their New Monastic community as a combination of orthodoxy and orthopraxy.

Home, Oxford England. (www.home-online.org) Home is an emerging church in Oxford England and unlike the previous two communities, is not centered in a shared housing arrangement. Home is led by Matt Rees, a priest in the Church of England. Matthew and I met Matt last month when we were traveling in the UK, and he and his wife Pippa are I think my 2 new favorite people. Eight members of Home recently took New Monastic vows. These vows are reworking of the traditional (“Old” Monastic?) vows of poverty, obedience, celibacy and stability, instead opting for the more realistic: Simplicity, purity, accountability and presence. They commit to pray at noon everyday, whether in the presence of others or not, to be conscious and responsible consumers, to live in a faithful and healthy sexuality, to have a personal transparency with one another, and to be in regular community with each other (also committing to not move outside of Oxford for the year). These vows are renewable yearly. As not all the members of Home took the vows, Rees was worried that a spiritual hierarchy might develop between those who took the vows and those who did not. However, I knew Matt was now a favorite person when he said the following “We who took the vows did it because we NEED it. We’re like shopping carts with a wobbly wheel and this discipline helps us to roll in a bit of a straighter line. We’re not more spiritual than others, actually we’re like in the spiritual “Special Needs” group if anything”.

That’s me. The spirtual special needs girl. That’s why I read scripture every morning first thing - not because I’m some kind of pietistic holy woman. I actually a fu**ing lunatic and I think it might help a little.

So check out these communities- they’re worth it.