Running

I ran this morning here in St. Paul by some beautiful crop fields and really was feeling strong. I just felt like I could go forever, thinking "wow, I'm really fit". Then I turned around. Now I felt like I was a brand new runner and totally out of shape, thinking "why do I bother?'. It seems that during the first half of my run the wind was at my back and I hadn't realized it, instead choosing to attribute the ease of my run to my increased fitness level. On the second half of my run, against the wind, I began to question my strength and stamina. The reality is that I had the same level of fitness during the entire run, I just internalized the external factors. I wonder how often I do this in other areas of my life? Do I attribute God's guidance to my own intuition, do I claim my own failings as the reason someone is an asshole? Aren't both of those tendencies just another form of self-centeredness?

Comments

[kaya]

woooo, good one !

how unstable our confidence is ! and how true it is to notice the many interesting (heterogenous, from peter taylor) factors are relevant for how we feel, who we are (becuase, you probably were "running better" ) ..

so, developmental systems theory might say: why do we want to give preference to the "internal" factors (is that more true, more real) ? and,, dont these internal factors get mixed with the external ones too, such that we cant really properly ever talk about them seperately?

maybe if we can come to understand this, then there will be less question of, and concern with self or other blame or praise ..

meow !
i just meant to come on here to get your email address :):)