Sarcastic Lutheran

A poem inspired by the post below

Richard Russeth, a member of HFASS is a rather remarkable man for many reasons, one of which is his poetic chops.

on being denied the eucharist (for r. pater)

when prophets are denied,
as they so often are,
they shake the dust from their sandals
and board when their rows are called.

watching from your plane, you see
the mountains shepherd the sunset into darkness.
lightning drives cracks into the midnight sky.
just for a moment the vast forest
is there -
a revelation
followed by thunder that rolls away
like a resurrection.

when a wind comes hurling accusations
against your plane, the trees huddled
on the mountainside suddenly seem
alarmingly close.

in denver, brushing tears
from your eyes, you exit the plane, and
discover you were never in
any real danger after all

for in a room at the airport,
in a gathering of two or three,
the bread and wine are
freely given to you
so that the darkness is pierced,

and through this wound in the sky,

the moon rises.

taking the Eucharist to Denver International Airport at 10p on a Wednesday

Last Sunday I got a call at 11am.  It was Rachel Pater calling from her home town church (denomination to remain unnamed).  It took several minutes before she could form a proper sentence through her sobs. Finally in a shaky voice, this came out:  "I'm at my parent's church....they are doing communion.....and I'm not allowed to take it."  Having spent the last year in such a deeply sacramental community where all freely receive the gifts of God Pater was devastated at being kept from the table.  I texted her later to ask if I could share this story with some of the other HFASSers and she agreed.

"Pater called me sobbing" I told them, "because she wasn't allowed to take communion at her parent's church this morning".  Stuart immediately responded "Well then we'll have to take her the Eucharist at the airport when she gets home".  Of course.

  When Pater got off the escalator she saw a sign reading "Pater" on one side and "Child of God" on the other.  I then lied just a tiny bit and asked if she wouldn't mind if we just popped upstairs because someone had asked me about the chapel and I wanted to make sure I knew where it was. 

So at 10p on a Wednesday night 8 people were waiting in the aesthetically questionable "Inter-faith prayer chapel" at Denver International Airport to give our sister in Christ the gifts of God that are truly for her and for all.

This is how they will know that you are my disciples: that you take my body and blood to the airport.
Amen?

 

Amen.

Bluegrass at Pentecost

Pentecost at HFASS included a bluegrass liturgy (see the link for Kent Gustavson on the side bar for more information about the music)

The Holy Ghost Bluegrass Band (i just named them that...) The Mandolin player is my baby daddy/boyfriend/partner in crime/husband

We wrote prayer for the church, the world, and all those in need on muslin and hung them for the Spirit to intercede with sighs too deep for words...may these prayers be carried to God.

Holy Ghost Red velvet cake.  A HFASS Pentecost tradition (because we've done it twice...)

 

63 people showed up!

HFASS Blessing of the Bicycles

A reading from the Prophet Ezekiel:

When the living creatures moved, the wheels moved beside them; and when the living creatures rose from the earth, the wheels rose. Wherever the spirit would go, they went, and the wheels rose along with them; for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels. When they moved, the others moved; when they stopped, the others stopped; and when they rose from the earth, the wheels rose along with them; for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

Holy Wisdom, Holy Word
Thanks be to God

Each petition ends with God of life,
and you respond “Hear our Prayer”

Let us pray,

Present in a world groaning under the excesses of consumption we acknowledge the inherent goodness of non-motorized human powered transportation and give thanks for the simple beauty of the bicycle. God of life,

Hear our prayer.

Present in a community filled with children we pray for those learning to ride. Keep them smart, safe and visible on their neighborhood roads. God of life,

Hear our prayer.

Present in a community filled with strife we pray for the victims of road rage, and bike theft.  And we ask for the strength to forgive mean people. God of life,

Hear our prayer.

Present in a world of work we pray for those who build, repair and clean our bikes and those who rely on bicycles to earn their living.  Bless those who choose to not drive to work and those for whom driving isn’t even an option. God of life,

Hear our prayer.

Present in a community of beautiful diversity we ask your protection and blessing on all who ride; Pedi cabbies, weekend warriors, athletes, homeless folks, students, children, eco-warriors, bike co-op anarchists, messengers and all the others who take to the Denver streets, bike paths, parks and mountains.  Keep us safe as we ride. God of life,

Hear our prayer.

We now observe a moment of silence for all who have died while riding…

God of life,

Hear our prayer.    
AMEN

 

Now receive this blessing and bless one another by repeating each phrase after me as we bless you with water and incense:

May the road rise to meet you…..  May the wind be ever at your back.  ….May all your journeying be joyous. …. And until we meet again ….may God hold you…. and your bicycles….. in the palm of God’s hand.

Go in peace and safety.
Amen.

Sermon on Phillip and the Ethiopian Eunuch

A sermon for Easter 4b

Text: Acts 8
26Then an angel of the Lord said to Philip, "Get up and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza." (This is a wilderness road.)  27So he got up and went. Now there was an Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of the Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, in charge of her entire treasury. He had come to Jerusalem to worship  28and was returning home; seated in his chariot, he was reading the prophet Isaiah.  29Then the Spirit said to Philip, "Go over to this chariot and join it."  30So Philip ran up to it and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah. He asked, "Do you understand what you are reading?"  31He replied, "How can I, unless someone guides me?" And he invited Philip to get in and sit beside him.  32Now the passage of the scripture that he was reading was this:
    "Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter,
    and like a lamb silent before its shearer, so he does not open his mouth.
  33In his humiliation justice was denied him.
    Who can describe his generation? For his life is taken away from the earth."
  34The eunuch asked Philip, "About whom, may I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?"  35Then Philip began to speak, and starting with this scripture, he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus.  36As they were going along the road, they came to some water; and the eunuch said, "Look, here is water! What is to prevent me from being baptized?"  38He commanded the chariot to stop, and both of them, Philip and the eunuch, went down into the water, and Philip baptized him.  39When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing.  40But Philip found himself at Azotus, and as he was passing through the region, he proclaimed the good news to all the towns until he came to Caesarea.

As many of you know, last week Seth and I attended the Rocky Mountain Synod assembly – the legislative body for this region of the Lutheran church.  For more than 10 years my denomination has been talking about human sexuality.  Much like the early church who were convinced that gentiles could only become Christians if they changed into being Jews first (which, for the record, involved a rather unpleasant process), much like our first century brothers and sisters there is a segment of the church today who thinks that if we extend the roof of the tent to include “the gays” then the whole thing will come crashing down around us.  We must “evangelize” them – ie. change them into us before they will fit. Or else the roof can’t hold.  Meanwhile the other side of the church is all about “inclusion”.  We must extend the tent to include the marginalized, the less fortunate the minorities.

    But then we have this story of Phillip and The Ethiopian Eunuch.  A text which I have always heard as being about evangelism. “The conversion of the Ethiopian Eunuch” it was called.    I was always told that the message of this text was that we should tell everyone we meet about Jesus because in doing so we might save them.  We might convert them.  We might change them into being us. 

But today I’m not so sure.  Because if the Eunuch was reading Isaiah as he returned from Jerusalem having gone there to worship – see if he was reading Isaiah then I would bet he was also familiar with Dueteronomy, specifically 23:1 “No one whose testicles are cut off or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the Lord” Anyone have that one as a memory verse growing up?
This law strictly forbids a Eunuch from entering the assembly of the Lord.  Their transgression of gender binaries and the inability to fit in proper categories made them profane by nature.  They do not fit in the tent.  But the Eunuch went to Jerusalem to worship despite the fact that in all likelihood he would be turned away by the religious establishment.  The Eunuch sought God anyway.

See, when the Spirit guided Phillip to that road in the desert I like to think she guided him to his own conversion.  As he approached the chariot he may have been thinking OK…I’ll just beat him with the scripture stick until he becomes what I am comfortable with.  But when Phillip joined this person who sought to worship God despite his exclusion form the tent, maybe it was Phillip himself who was converted to the faith.  It was perhaps even a mutual conversion.  Maybe because they simply asked each other questions in the desert.  The only imperatives came from the Holy Spirit. Phillip and the Eunuch only asked each other questions.  The only commands came from God and the command was go and join.  Go and join the other.  What we don’t know is if the Spirit also gave the Eunuch a command to invite.  Invite this nice Jewish boy – representative of all that clings to the law and rejects you from God’s house.  Invite him to sit by you.  Go…join…invite…ask questions. Perhaps Phillip in his encounter with this gender transgressive foreigner learned what seeking the Lord looks like.

A couple weeks ago Stuart showed up to liturgy wearing slacks and button down shirt rather than his Grease Monkey jacket and jeans.  Earlier that day He had stood as Godfather and baptismal sponsor for the child of his friends’ ; a straight couple who have known Stuart for a number of years.  Apparently after the baptism there was a little reception back at this couple’s house.  To Stuart’s surprise his friends got all of their guests attention so they could say a few words about why they had chosen Stuart as their child’s godparent.  “We chose you Stuart” they said “because for most of your life you have pursued Christ and Christ’s church even though as a Gay Man all you’ve heard from the church is that ‘there is no love for you here’”.  I heard that story as his friends saying to him “you, Stuart convert us again and again to this faith” 

All many of you have heard is that the tent is simply not big enough unless you change to fit in it.  Change your sexuality, your personality your doubting. Change your addictive patterns, your story, your brokenness. And if you can’t, then just pretend. Yet here you are.  Converting me once again to this faith.

Because how can I know what it means to follow Christ unless I learn it from someone who has done so despite every obstacle possible?  That’s why I am so in awe of those in our community who have heard again and again “there is no love for you here unless you let us change you into who we feel comfortable with you being”.  Not just the queers either.  Also those who have the wrong personality or the wrong socio economic status or the wrong gender or the wrong immigration status or the wrong politics to fit under the tent.
 I think maybe that we can’t actually know what this Jesus following thing is about unless we too have the stranger show us.  This is far more than “inclusion”. Inclusion isn’t the right word at all because it sounds like in our niceness and virtue we are allowing “them” to join us - like we are judging another group of people to be worthy to be a part of this thing.  “inclusion” seems like a small thing.  A charity.  A mercy. But the truth is that We need the equivalent of our Ethiopian Eunuch to show us the faith.  We continually need the stranger, the foreigner, the “other” to show us water in the desert.  We need to hear “Here is water in the desert, so what is to keep me the eunuch from being baptized” or me the queer or me the intersexed, or me the illiterate or me the neurotic or me the over-educated or me the founder of Focus on the Family.  Until we face the difficulty of that question and come up as Phillip did with no answer…until then we just look at the seemingly limited space under the tent and either think it’s our job to change people so they fit or its our job to extend the roof so that they fit.  Either way, it’s misguided because …it’s not our tent.  It’s God’s tent. The wideness of the tent of the Lord should concern us only insofaras it points to the gracious nature of a loving God who became flesh and entered into our humanity.  The wideness of the tent should only concern us insofaras it  points to the great mercy and love of a God who welcomes us all as friends.

The bigness of God’s tent is why we have an open communion table.  When we come to the table we all come as Christ’s guests to his feast. And as much as we’d like to be - we are not the makers of the guest list. We come to the table with those who accept us and those who reject us.  We come to the table with those we love and those we distrust. We come whether or not we feel worthy. Because It is God who has made us worthy in the invitation.  It is God who has torn the curtain of the temple so that there is no longer Jew nor Greek, Slave nor free, Male nor Female gay nor straight.  Liberal nor conservative.

So maybe here in this story of the conversion of Phillip and the Eunuch is some hope for the church.  That under God’s really big tent we might ask questions, invite those who represent the establishment to come and sit by us, to stay in the scriptures, to be converted anew by the strange and the stranger, to see where there is water in the desert, to enter fully into the waters of God’s mercy with the foreigners, with the “not us”. And to go on our way rejoicing having converted each other to this beautiful, dangerous expansive life of faith.

HFASS' 1st Annual Blessing of the Bicycles

Bike to church for a Blessing of the Bicycles Sunday May 17th 3:30p at 501 Bannock.  All are welcome.

HFASS Easter vigil

Easter vigil was incredible.     We had no idea that 70 people would show up!  Here's some of the highlights:

An Ethiopian thurible gifted to us by our brothers and sisters at St Gregory of Nyssa Episcopal Church in San Francisco.

Dave and JP lit a New Fire outside from which we lit the Paschal candle and chanted "The Light of Christ; Thanks be to God" whil entering the dimly lit sanctuary

The children were charged with the telling of the creation story and they did a wonderful job using art they had made.

Jim and Stuart took on the Noah and the flood story with camp and heart.  The spray bottle was, of course, central.

Notice the waters having come up around the ark. Noah sends out the dove (which I believe was a knotted sweat sock.

Looking out the window Noah sees that the dove has returned with and olive branch in it's mouth.

And of course, the rainbow.

Amy and Sheralee told the story of Ezekiel and the valley of the dry bones.  The image on the screen is of an amazing photo of Amy's of hands holding little bones.  After the reading there was a black and white video clip of a quartet (from the 1950's form the look of it) singing Dem Bones Dem Bones.

Brandi spray painted this image of Daniel and the fiery furnace and Andi read the text.  Very cool.

An amazing slam poetry- techno interpretation of Isaiah 55 played while Sara dramatically set the altar table. "You who have no money come to eat and drink"

And what's a Bible story without a flannel-graph?  Roxane and Rachel tell us all about the deliverance from the Red Sea

We take the thurible and in a procession around the block chant the litany of saints.  The names of the saints were provided by the community. "Uncle Bobby and Aunt Gladys"....."Come celebrate with us".

After inviting the faithful departed to celebrate the resurrection with us, the children dug up the Alleluia banner the community had made and buried on the final Sunday before Lent.  Note to self: muslin molds.

The following is from an email a couple day later from a member of our community who is new to all of this:

... the Alleluia banner.  It was buried beautiful and highly adorned.  It was dug up in a different state(by children of course.  Are the liturgical churches always so damn symbolic?).  While its shell - the outer sheet -was unharmed by its venture into death, the banner was me.  Yes, it still reads, though a little less legibly, "Alleluia".  But it is speckled with mildew.  And there are buttons missing.  And some things that were added to "prettify" it are caricatures and garish in its new state.  It isn't pretty, but it is still, maybe even more, true. 

 

And there I am, dug back up and brought back to church.  Who knew?

We pound on the closed doors of the church and when the doors open the sanctuary is blazing with light and filled with lilies.  We sing Alleluia for the first time since Lent started!

Jessica sings the gospel reading from John 20.

We welcome Bill into the body of Christ.  Yes, I dunked his whole head in - 3 times!  I'd prefer a baptistery for full immersion but this is the next best thing.

After the baptism we celebrated the Eucharist.

The whole experience was amazing.  The community I get to serve is so creative and funny and faithful.  I'm very blessed.

This, by the way, is a little thing we call "pridefulness"

So how do you celebrate the closing of Holy Week???
Answer: DANCE PARTY

Electric slide.  I'm not proud.

Nothing says "He Is Risen" quite like a chocolate fountain in the baptismal font.

Thanks to everyone who worked so hard to pull off the Triduum!

Announcing Christianity 21

 

Christianity 21: Faith in the 21st Century
21 Voices
21 Ideas
21 Minutes Each

We live in a time of epochal change.

Many find this change exciting; for others, it’s a challenge. Call it globalization, pluralization, or postmodernism, this change affects our economy, politics, government, and education—all of society. And, of course, our faith and our churches are not immune to change.

So we have gathered 21 of the most important voices for the future of Christianity—21 voices for the 21st century—to speak into our future as people of faith in this age. They represent a diverse array of backgrounds, interests, and passions, and they will provide a wide range of innovative and challenging presentations.

Christianity21 is less a conference and more a happening, an event—a gathering of voices and ideas that will shape the future of our faith. And to the 21 voices, we want you to add your voice, whether you’re a seeker or skeptic, leader or layperson, disciple or doubter.

We hope you consider joining your voice to ours at Christianity21.

Friday, October 9 – Sunday, October 11
Colonial Church of Edina
6200 Colonial Way
Minneapolis, MN 55436
$195

___________________________________________________________

I'm really excited about this event.  I'll be one of the 21 speakers but don't let that dissuade you from attending - the other presenters are legit.  It's an amazing collection of voices.

My topic: Authority; Authenticity and Assholes

Hope to see you there.

"So, what IS the 'emerging church'?"

If I had a dollar for every person who has asked me "So, what IS the emerging church?" we could meet our budget this year. Here's my own definition, and it is just that - my definition.  Not the definition.  When I use the term "emerging church" here's what I mean by that.  (I feel like I'm walking into a mine field, but here we go....)

Emerging Church:
Christian communities that emerge out of very particular cultural contexts where the traditional church is basically irrelevant.  These cultural contexts are more often than not urban, youngish and post-modern.

Emerging church is not a worship style.  I know emerging churches that do traditional liturgy with Jazz (Mercy Seat), who use electronica (Church of the Beloved), who are acapella Gregorian chant (House for All Sinners and Saints) and who do nothing but old time Southern gospel (House of Mercy).

So, when trad churches in the suburbs are wanting to attract young people (with all the good intentions in the world) and they ape some kind of worship style they read about in a Zondervan book by starting an "emerging" worship service, it's a bit ironic.

Ok, now before you leave me angry responses let me say; this is not saying that there is something wrong with the traditional church.  Trad church is often a faithful expression of Christian community.  But my friends would have to culturally commute from who they are to who the trad church is.  This is why I want to make a t-shirt that says "light all the candles you want to; they are not coming".  The back of the shirt would say "It's ok to be who you are (traditional, suburban, small town, conservative, Methodist...what ever it is.....  Be it."

For the record: I wanted to start a church in a context that I am native to.  I am not "targeting a population" nor have I at any point had to ask myself "what is it they want"? They being post-modern urban young adults.  I am they.

Women in ministry

I don't honestly think about "women in ministry issues" a whole lot.  I guess I just go about my work not thinking of myself as a female pastor; just a pastor.  I have almost never felt directly discounted for being a woman in my work.  But a conference call last week got me thinking about what makes being a woman in the clergy different then being a woman in other historically male-only professions. 

Here's the deal - there are other vocations; medicine, law, police work - where women now serve but haven't always.  But what makes women clergy different than say, women doctors, is that while there are perhaps some specialties in medicine in which women are underrepresented,  there are not entire hospitals where women are not allowed to practice.  There are not entire courthouses all over America where lawyers cannot argue a case if they are female.  This is not true of the clergy.  There is something unusual about serving in a profession where there are entire institutions in America where women are not allowed to do my job. 

Several Missouri Synod  (a conservative Lutheran denomination which does not  support the ordination of women) pastors and some Evangelical ones have asked (recently and in the past) if I might meet or email them to talk about ministry and the emerging church.  I always accept and am delighted that they want to talk but at the same time am aware of the fact that we are both ordained  pastors but that they are part of churches that don't believe that I should be allowed to do my job based on my gender.  I guess it always feels...vulnerable.  And ironic.   But it's never ended up being a bad experience.  Perhaps this shows us all some hope for the Body of Christ.

Bible Study

I'm loving our weekly Bring Your Own Brain Bible Study.  We have been looking at the upcoming lectionary texts.  Last night we read Isaiah 40:28

The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable.

To which Bryan, the graduate student in statistics, added that a numbers set of say, 5 things, is searchable and you can sort it.  Same with a set of say, 200 items; but an infinite set is unsearchable and unknowable.  So God is unsearchable.  To which Richard added "Yeah, you can't exactly Google God".  Richard is new to the faith (as in a month or so) and is blogging about it and his experience of Bible Study and HFASS here.  Sometimes I think we can't really see the Christian faith until it is viewed through the eyes of someone who is seeing it for the first time.

Listen to audio of me reading stuff I wrote

If you are interested in hearing me read from an essay and then from my book you can do so here

The Confession of Peter

 

Here's my sermon, preached at Church of the Apostles on 1-17 and at Church of the Beloved on 1-18

If you would like to hear audio of this sermon, you can do so here

Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” 14And they said, “Some say John the Baptist, but others Elijah, and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” 15He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” 16Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” 17And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. 18And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it. 19I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” 20Then he sternly ordered the disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.

There were two sets of texts one could choose for today.  The 2nd Sunday of Epiphany or the Confession of Peter.  It was a no brainer for me because I have a deep fondness for Peter.  Mainly because he’s a total dumb ass and that just makes him really easy to relate to for me.  So, confession of Peter it is.
It was expected in the fundamentalist church I grew up in that if you were a real Christian then you offer yourself to God by confessing Jesus and deciding that he is your savior. I think it’s easy to think that making a statement of faith or confessing Christ is something we do as individuals FOR God.  The action is decidedly from us to God.  We kind of like the us-to-God direction of things because then we can make sure we see to things ourselves.  It’s like the other Gospel lectionary texts for today.  We chose the confession of peter readings but the other option for this Sunday was the calling of Phillip and Bartholomew. In that text Jesus (and these are the actual words used) Jesus finds Phillip.  Then Phillip goes and finds Bartholomew and says “I found Jesus”.  Fool.  A verse and a half ago I’m pretty sure it said that Jesus found your sorry behind.  But I think this is what we do.  God creates something in us or in our lives and we say “look what I did!”  But in our Gospel text for today Jesus makes sure to point out that the source of Peter’s confession of Christ was God, not Peter.
See, when we confess Christ, God becomes both the subject and the object of our confession.  Jesus makes this point.  He tells Peter “God created this faith in you”.    And seriously,  Jesus has a point because Peter is about the last guy anyone would expect to get something right for goodness sake, because in the Gospel texts, Peter is like, a total baffoon.  Think about it.
In this verse he might be the Rock on which the church is built and all that but 3 verses later he’s Satan.  Look it up.
Here’s my theory.  I think the scribes cleaned this verse up.  My theory is that Jesus really said “You are Peter – dumb as a rock.  On whom I will build my church”.  And this is our legacy to this day.  It’s Peter who tries to walk on water and sinks like a … you guessed it., rock.  It’s Peter who when he was so uncomfortable by Jesus’ transfiguration said “Uh, should I build some stuff?”  It was Peter who later in the story cuts off the ear of some poor sod who came to arrest Jesus.  And, lest we forget, it was Peter who denies Jesus.  A few times, know what I mean?  This is the guy on whom the church is built.  Dang.  But by choosing Peter and not someone less idiotic Jesus has given us great hope.

What if Jesus chose some really pious, guy who always did everything right, never said dumb stuff and who was like, really perfect.  Where could the rest of us fit in?  Instead, by choosing Peter, dumb as a rock, we are now forced to see that it’s not about us and our strivings and efforts and right answers. Now with the likes of Peter at the helm we are forced to see that it is God who comes to us, not us who make our way to God.  Luther said in his Small Catechism that “I cannot by my own understanding or effort comes to my Lord Jesus or believe in him.  But the Holy Spirit has called me through the Gospel and enlivened me with the faith.” 
Now this gives us great hope; much more hope than if everything depended on us believing the right things and doing the right things and saying the right things all on our own.  That’s never been what the church is supposed to be about.  The choice of Peter as the rock of the church frees us from the demands of personal piety and perfection and getting everything right.   We in direct lineage to Peter – we the idiotic Christ-deniers, are free to be the Body of Christ, which is where the second part of our text leads us. 
Like Peter, God has created faith in us too. But in us as a body.  The faith of the church is not created just in me or just in you but in the Body as a whole. The faith that God created in Peter which then led to Peter’s confession of Christ was for the benefit of the whole church.
 I often have people say to me “I can’t say the apostles creed because I’m not sure I believe all of it”  Well, do I believe every line of the Apostles creed when I say it?  Sometimes yes, but sometimes no.  But here’s the thing.  In a congregation….for each line of the creed there is probably someone there who believes it.  So we are covered.  Because it’s not my creed.  It’s the church’s creed and I, thank Jesus, am a very small part of the church.  When we confess our faith, the Body of Christ carries the faith for one another.  As a body.  On each other’s behalf.  God creates faith in community where we daily convert each other to Christianity.  In Bonhoeffer’s book Life Together he speaks to the need for us to confess our faith  because "The Christ in our own heart is weaker than the Christ in the Word of our sister’s; our own heart is uncertain, our sister's is sure." And this our sister’s is uncertain but ours is true.  Sometimes we are the ones being lowered by our friends through the roof to Christ, sometimes we are the ones doing the lowering.  This is being church.  Where, through Word and sacrament we reenact and remind each other of God’s promises. Promises like the one in our text.  Did you hear it? Jesus gives us the promise here that the gates of Hades will not prevail against his church.  A promise that the death dealing forces within our culture  and within our world and within ourselves will not prevail against the broken and blessed body of Christ.  He promises that the people who have walked in darkness have seen a great light  - - a light that shines in the darkness and that the darkness cannot, will not, shall not overcome it.  So to the church Christ promises that death will not overcome.  He says that what we bind on earth will be bound in heaven and what we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.  So we go about binding.  In the waters of baptism the promises of God are bound to you.  In the proclamation of the Word the Gospel enters your ears and is bound to you.  In the bread and the cup the kingdom of God is bound to you. What we bind on earth will be bound in heaven and what we loose on earth will be loosed in heaven
So we go about loosing.  It’s known as absolution.  Sins are loosed. Your sins forgiven, your shame washed away, your conscience unbound.  This is heaven in the earthiest of elements; water, bread, wine, words.
So here we are as The Body of Christ celebrating The Confession of Peter.  Here we are, the inheritors of a church built on a dumb ass.  But swimming in the promises of God who promises that the gates of Hades, the death-dealing forces and even all of our idiocy will not prevail against the messiah, the son of the Living God.  The true light shining in the darkness.
Amen

Our Lady of the New Advent - an icon made out of xmas advertising

This is the icon we created during liturgy over the 4 weeks of Advent.  Every piece of this is from "Christmas" ads: circulars, catalogs and all that junk that comes in the mail and the newspaper.  We created 1/4 of it each week.  An Artist in the community traced the image onto poster board indicating what color should go in each shape.  People ages 6-65 cut out the right color from the ads and glued it in the space.  Easy and subversive.
(photo by Lars Hammar)

Where we met Christ

There was a station set up at HFASS over all of Advent; "where I met Christ this week".  Here's what we wrote:

• in friends who love us better than we know how to love ourselves
• in a baby, thought to have been miscarried...still in there! 
• in a funeral 
• in the flour dust of baking with my mom 
• in the ridiculousness of my own consumption 
• in the beggar near my house 
• in coworkers 
• in my partner's painful home-stay 
• in the mountains 
• in my room 
• in an unexpected conversation about faith with a new friend 
• in a love letter 
• in a shared meal 
• in perceived regression 
• in receiving a home-made gift from a 5 year old first thing in the morning
• in 2 old neighbors I had never met 
• in sickness that has forced me to rest 
• in the chaos of packing a house 
• in tears 
• in a co-worker disenchanted with the church 
• in 10,000 turkeys donated 
• in children laughing and playing in church 
• in a young black youth struggling to be a father 
• this morning in a man on the street with a bleeding forehead, he said he recognized me; i gave him some money and he called me "brother"
• in a young mother in transitional housing trying to stay clean and sober
• in the softness of the falling snow 
• in that old lady's laugh 
• in kneading dough 
• in an inebriated man with grandfatherly advise 
• in a cat sleeping on my lap 
• in quiet time alone 
• in Jesse Sims on Colfax 
• in Koreans in a Chinese restaurant 
• in quiet time alone 
• in my buddy Jason 
• in someone noticing I had not been at church and praying for me.  It was not someone I expected to do this.  
• In conflict 
• in doubt & hope 
• in a hug from a security guard; a response to a simple gesture 
• ? 
• in 'coincidence' of a reunion
• in a conversation at the Thanksgiving table 
• in carrying a couch 
• at Quiznos 
• in the face of the dying 
• in myself 
• in long dialogues with a friend 
• in the simple presence of others during a tough worship service 
• in a phone conversation with an old, wise friend 
• in grace, when I did not expect it 
• in my sister's pain 
• in learning from others 
• in dinner with housemates 
• in my babe 
• in a cop 
• in silence 
• in a random drunk girl 
• in a friend who has walked away from his faith but still is graceful in giving 
• in my church and its generosity 
• in my mother 

Where did you meet Christ this week?  

A sermon for Advent 4B with 4 parts: narrator, Gabriel, Mary and preacher

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth,

Nazareth? This is like God sending an angel to Commerce City.  Nazareth is a nothing of a town.

to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.

What kind of greeting is that Mary?  Had you ever been called favored before?  Mary.  They are all called Mary aren’t they?  Mary the sister of Lazarus, Mary from Magdala, That other Mary and Mary the mother of Jesus.  So common a name.  Almost as though when the writers couldn’t remember a woman’s name they just automatically called her Mary.  Like Jane Doe- it’s just this side of forgettable  Mary.  So common but yet now angelically deemed “favored one”.  What kind of perplexing greeting is this calling a common Mary “favored one”.  Did you look behind you to see if someone else named Mary was standing behind you?    Mary; common and favored. 

The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God."

You found favor with God?  Like you were looking for favor everywhere until bang!  You find it with God?  Or was it more like it is with God that you are the favored one though not so much favored elsewhere. We aren’t given a litany of all the things you did and personality traits you inhabited that made you favor-able.  Perhaps it is the fact that you are chosen by God that makes you favored not that your favorableness made you chooseable. 

 "And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

In your ears, you a marginalized young Jew living in the midst of an occupied land are the words “throne …reign  … kingdom” This is nothing less than cultural, political, religious and spiritual insurrection for the common to be favored and the favored to be common.

Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?”
The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.”

Elizabeth: Barren and pregnant.  One of God’s favorite ways to prove that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts.  God’s ways are not our ways…continually transgressing our polite family values.  Elizabeth barren and pregnant.  Mary common and favored.  This is the transgressive fecundity of God.  Willing life where there is no life.  Making a way where there is no way.  Messing with all of us in the way that only true mercy can do.

Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

Here I am you say …just like Isaiah after the coal touched his mouth.  Here I am you say.  Send me.  Did it burn you too, like Isaiah’s own lips?  Let it be with me according to your word you said. “Here I am, the Servant of the Lord, let it be with me according to your word”.  So beautiful.  We try and domesticate you Mary like a trinket of docile, submissive womanhood but you are bolder than that, more defiant almost.  Some try to hide from their calling (Moses, Jonah, Elisha) but you said Here I am.  Sign me up.  Did you know what this word was going to mean for you?

And Mary said,
(Magnificat is sung by Mary)

 

My soul proclaims the greatness of | the Lord,
    my spirit rejoices in | God my Savior,
for you, Lord, have looked with favor on your | lowly servant.
    From this day all generations will | call me blessed;

Is that was being blessed looks like?  We usually use that word a bit differently.  You’re so blessed to have that new boat. So, Mary, how exactly are you using that word?  Did you feel blessed as your unwed belly grew under the gaze of disapproving others.  Did you feel blessed when laboring amongst sheep and straw?   Mary, common and favored…Did you feel blessed when your heart dropped realizing you left your 12 year old in Jerusalem?  At his arrest did you feel blessed seeing rope dig into the wrists of both God made flesh and the flesh of your flesh? Did you feel blessed when they lifted him up?  No one else was his mother.  Just you.  Blessed are you among women.  Common and favored.  And blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.  God and Man. “We hail Mary, Queen of Heaven,” proclaims Martin Luther, “because in her we come to know that ours is the God who comes nearest to us in our brokenness.”

(again, sung)

you, the Almighty, have done great | things for me,
    and holy | is your name.
You have mercy on | those who fear you,
    from generation to | generation.   R
You have shown strength | with your arm;
    and scattered the proud in | their conceit,
casting down the mighty | from their thrones
    and lifting | up the lowly.
You have filled the hungry | with good things,
    and sent the rich | away empty.
You have come to the aid of your | servant Israel,
    to remember the prom- | ise of mercy,
the promise made | to our forebears,
    to Abraham and his chil- | dren forever.  

There’s nothing like a song about upturning the whole social order to warm the heart.  That or scare the be-jesus out of you. 

So maybe that’s what God is up to here.  Transgressing the boundaries of human society. Commerce City becomes Jerusalem. The favored become common and the common become favored.  The barren are pregnant.  The hungry filled.  The rich, hungry.  The proud leveled and the downtrodden lifted up until it’s all blurred past distinction.  The prophet Mary sings in the new inverted reality of God’s kingdom on earth and this is it’s fight song.  It’s your song, all of you.  A song of this God who entered so fully into this muck of human existence and upturned our expectations and religiosity and self loathing and self satisfaction enough to usher in a new reality.  And this reality is that God became one of us so that we might become children of God. Gregory of Nyssa writes, “What was achieved in the body of Mary will happen in the soul of everyone who receives the Word.” You, all of you, are blessed and full of grace. So,  may the God through whom nothing is impossible help you to be Marys….carrying the gospel into this hurt and broken and beautiful world. May it be with you all according to God’s Word.

     

Theology Pub in Chicago this weekend

 Emerging Church Theology Pub
at the AAR in Chicago
Sunday Nov 2
6-8
Bar Louie on Printer's Row (47 Polk St, couple blocks behind the Hyatt) 

Join hostess Nadia Bolz-Weber (House for All Sinners and Saints,  Author of Salvation on the Small Screen? 24 Hours of Christian Television) for a Theology Pub featuring Becky Garrison (Religious satirist and author, Rising From the Ashes: Re-thinking Church), Doug Gay (University of Glasgow, Author, Alternative Worship: Resources from and for the Emerging Church), Nanette Sawyer (Wicker Park Grace, Author Hospitality: The Sacred Art), and Ryan Bolger (Fuller Seminary, Author Emerging Churches: Creating Christian Community in Postmodern Cultures). Meet these folks.  Chat. Have books signed. Drink beer.

Parable of the wedding feast (House for All 10-13)

(un)invited





Readings

Isaiah 25:1-10

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear. And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever. Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.

Matthew 22:1-14

Once more Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying: “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his slaves to call those who had been invited to the wedding banquet, but they would not come. Again he sent other slaves, saying, ‘Tell those who have been invited: Look, I have prepared my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves have been slaughtered, and everything is ready; come to the wedding banquet.’ But they made light of it and went away, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his slaves, mistreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged. He sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city. Then he said to his slaves, ‘The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore into the main streets, and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet.’ Those slaves went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both good and bad; so the wedding hall was filled with guests. “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing a wedding robe, and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding robe?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are called, but few are chosen.”

Sermon

To be totally honest, when I saw the gospel reading for today I suggested we perhaps have a hymn sing instead.  Since the word Gospel means good news I have to say that the good news for today has a lot of bad news sprinkles on top.  The kingdom of heaven is like a king who throws a wedding banquet invites the A listers, the few who were chosen as it were, who blow him off. He then sends out servants to invite them again, this time mentioning the menu. These folks laugh and then kill the servants.  The king gets mad kills them back and destroys their town.  Anyhow, so the king then sets the bar pretty low and says :screw it”  just go out and invite anyone you find - go out and call the many as it were.  So while what qualified the A listers to be invited; that they were wealthy or good or famous, the main thing that qualifies these D listers to be invited is that they were there.  Cool.  Everyone is invited good and bad.  I like that.  Except for the part where the king comes up to that poor guy and was like “how’d you get in without a wedding robe?” the guy’s got nothing for an answer so he’s hog tied and cast out to the outer darkness – weeping, knashing of teeth, the whole bit.  What a mess, right?  But then I thought, wait a minute.  Did all the other D listers happen to be walking the streets that day carrying wedding garments in their hands, you know, just in case THE KING invites them over? When the king asks that poor guy, “friend, how’d you get in without a wedding robe”.  The answer should have been “Everyone got in without a wedding robe (well, except that one guy, fancy Frank – he wears a wedding robe everyday, but that’s another story entirely)
Some historians claim that part of  royal wedding feasts in antiquity included the provision of garments.  So I guess maybe the guy was offered one and he declined, which is weird except for the fact that maybe we do the same thing in a way.  God hands us garments; the baptismal gown and it’s twin the funeral pall which clothe us in God’s own promises.  Yet there are so many forces within us that reject the gracious garments given us.  Usually pride or it’s twin, shame.  The two are almost the same thing in the end namely an exaggerated sense of one’s importance or insignificance. So, we either pridefully try and gussy our own selves up or out of shame refuse what God offers to cloth us in.
Maybe out of our own efforts we dress in our best so that the doorman will let us pass the velvet ropes.  Only to find out that everyone’s on the guest list.  Doesn’t do a lot for one’s pride. Unable to believe that there really is a feast from God we show up with a grease stained bag of KFC take out.  Too proud to accept that which we don’t provide for ourselves.
Or maybe clothed in our naked shame we refuse the garment offered us that actually would have us covered.  Perhaps we hog tie ourselves - our shame covering us like a shroud, as we refuse the garment provided us in our baptism.
But it’s a life death life thing. It can feel like that sometimes in the scope of our lives.  Over the years, and sometimes over just the hours of the day.
Outer darkness again.  Then the invitation, then the feast,  then shame, then outer darkness, then the invitation, then the feast then pride,  then outer darkness. Again and again.  It’s the terrible beautiful cycle which the apostle Paul describes by saying “I’ve been crucified with Christ, it’s no longer I that lives but Christ that lives in me.”  Only he doesn’t mention that this life death life thing in Christ happens over and over in our lives.  I die , Christ lives in me, then shame and pride and being curved in on self, then I die then Christ lives in me…again and again.

But it’s the crazy invitation that keeps ringing in our ears.  God calling us to the feast prepared for us and for all. God inviting, calling, wooing us -  those who are good, those who are bad, that within us that is broken that within us which is whole and this absurd invitation  is what brings us here and to the lush feast of God’s vision for the world.

The cycle ends here.  In the feast of which the prophet Isaiah speaks to us today. In the continually redeeming work of God in us and in the world we catch a glimpse in Isaiah of where it is that the heart of God calls us to.   “On this mountain” Isaiah writes “the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines, of rich food filled with marrow, of well-aged wines strained clear. And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever. Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth”.
Here the cycle ends in the feast of wholeness in which the captives are released, freedom comes to the oppressed and all are fed.
In this vision of the world according to God, God is removing the shroud of shame and pride and all that separates us into categories of chosen, disgraced, good, bad, feasting guests and wailing teeth nashers. And here today we have a foretaste of that very feast, where all are called to come and be fed with Christ’s own broken and poured out self.  Here there is no A list, just the good and bad off the street who hear the invitation.  You, all of you sit here today as the invited.
Amen

Liturgy

When folks walked into the space, there was a 5 foot high and 5 foot wide room divider - covered in a white sheet - in front of a bare altar table.  Beside this was a table with markers and oil pastels.  We were all invited to write on the sheet either in words or images or even just initials of the pride or shame that keeps us form God's invitation.  Ambient techno played while people participated in this part of the service.  Then after everyone had sat down, a couple of us went up, removed the sheet while 2 others moved the room divider.  This sheet became the altar cloth, complete with our pride and shame all over it.  What people could not see before was that we had written the Isaiah passage "On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wines. And he will destroy on this mountain the shroud that is cast over all peoples, the sheet that is spread over all nations; he will swallow up death forever. Then the Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and the disgrace of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken" on the sheet now covering the front of the altar and facing the congregation.  On this sheet we set the table for the Eucharist.

(the photo above was pn the cover of the liturgy booklet, with (un)invited below it)

church planting is ideal for the manic depressive

I've not been bloggin much about the community mainly because I'm so damn busy working as a mission developer. But one thing has really been weighing on me: the emotional weirdness and vulnerability of being a "church planter" (I hate that term).  On the one hand, there are certain personality traits that help in this work: drive, charisma, commitment, passion, humor...these thing really help out if you happen to be someone irrational enough to think they might be able to pull a church out of their...pocket (by the power of the Holy Spirit of course). However, this particular constellation of characteristics comes with a down side: ego, tunnel vision, working one's self to exhaustion and , oh yeah...ego.  It's a particular form of simul iustus et peccator (simultaneously saint and sinner) often found in this line of work (and now that I think about it perhaps serial killing and venture capitalism as well).  One of the most exhausting dynamics for me in what I do is that I internalize WAY too much both good and bad.  Every new person who shows up, every unanswered email, every "no" RSVP, every "yes" RSVP.  It's not sustainable.  But the establishment of this community is so deeply important to me, so how does one live out this type of vocation with a healthy dose of detachment?  How do I do the work and (hold on to your stomachs) "release the results".  If I were a business entrepreneur then  it could "be all about me" and no one would blink an eye.  But this is a church.  I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be about the Triune God and not about Nadia.  Letting go is about more than releasing control.  It's also about not internalizing everything.
I love you dear SL readers but I swear to God if someone says "have you prayed about it" I'll ban your comments until Jesus comes back.  Yes, I pray about it.  I'm just that desperate.

Dear God,
    I confess that I am in bondage to self.  I thought that maybe after 16 years in AA that would change but apparently not. If you could help me see that this whole church thing is about you and not about me then that would be really helpful. 
    Watch out for the House for All folks since I am their pastor and that's just kind of weird.  I'm going to try and trust your judgement on that one even though it seems questionable.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

Greenbelt Highlights

I've recovered from my trip to the UK and have some highlights to share.

• Spending the night at Matt and Pippa and Lilly's house.  These are great folks from the hOME community in Oxford.

• Driving to Greenbelt with Ian from MayBe in Oxford.  These communities in Oxford are close to my heart.  They both are in the nitty gritty of neo-monasticism and community based spiritual practices in the midst of "regular" life.  For 2 1/2 years I've stayed in close contact with Matt and Ian - I can't exactly articulate why these relationships (as well as those with Ian Mobsby and Karen Ward and Kae Evenson and Mark Stenberg) are so important and life-giving to me, only that they are.

• walking the labyrinth in an 800 year old cathedral in Gloucester with others who all met up the night before Greenbelt.

•  

• Spending time with Kae and Mark from Mercy Seat.  They are about the funniest, smartest people I know.

• Being on an emerging church panel with Cheryl Lawrie, Laura from Sanctus 1, Karen Ward from COTA, Pete Rollins from Ikon, Ian Mobsby from Moot and Brian McLaren.  (Spot the emerging church D-lister...that would be me)  My favorite "take away" form the panel: Apparently Ikon runs an "Omega" course for those  interested in exiting the church.  For anyone familiar with the "Alpha" course, this is seriously funny.

• Meeting and spending as much time as possible with Sara Miles who I call "my new theological girlfriend".  She is a force of nature.

• "Beer and Hymns" hymn sing at The Jesus Arms beer tent; 600 people crammed shoulder to shoulder beers in hand singing hymns at the top of their lungs.

• Spending a day in London with Karen Ward wellies shopping (here's a photo of us on the escalator in the tube station...she's trying to not have her picture taken)

• Dinner at Ian's

These really only scratch the surface.  There is no way to really describe Greenbelt.  It's a faith-based justice and arts festival with around 20,000 in attendance. But that doesn't really get at at.  Just go if you can.

Greenbelt UK 2008 anyone?

 

I'll be at the Greenbelt Festival in the UK next week.  I'm on an emerging church panel with Karen Ward and Ian Mobsby and others...any Sarcastic Lutheran readers who are there should come by and say hi!

Good Dirt. Bad Dirt. House's liturgy for the Parable of the Sower

Sunday House's liturgy was based on the lectionary readings of Isaiah 55: 1-13 and Matthew 13:1-9 and 18-23.

Here's my sermon:

It’s been a difficult few weeks for us at House talking about this parable.  We almost called this service: Good dirt bad dirt a liturgy based  on a parable we don’t like.  It just seems so…unfair. Like what about that part “when anyone hears the word of the Kingdom and doesn’t understand it, the evil one comes and snatches it away”.  Which sounds like its somehow our fault for not understanding. 
 For those of us raised in super duper religious homes, the question of what kind of soil we are still looms in our spiritual imaginations…calling out for us to give the obvious Sunday School answer like Rod and Todd Flanders:  “I’m good soil”.  Even if we don’t understand what “I’m good soil” means or we think we know what it means and we suspect that we might be the rocky kind or at least prone to thorns, we answer “good soil…we’re definitely the good kind” all the while harboring the notion that God seems to judge our soil without having the decency to give us the ability to really decide what kind of soil we’re going to be .  If soil is stuck with what it is: rocky, thorny, good, whatever -- then why can’t God’s word change it into what it should be?  It’s like an unfunded spiritual mandate.    Even if I start to think that maybe God’s word has born fruit in me I’m then being prideful and certainly God’s word can’t do a whole lot in prideful soil.  So even if we are good soil we can’t say that or else by doing so we become the bad soil so when asked “what kind of soil are you?” I really just want to hide under the covers, or maybe convert to a religion a little less crazy, like branch davidianism.  All that is to say, we decided that we don’t like this lousy parable of the soil.

Deitrich Bonhoeffer wrote once that original sin is choosing the knowledge of good and evil over the knowledge of God.  What we want is what the disciples wanted – the knowledge of good and evil.  We want to be judgers of soil for ourselves and others.  Like in the passage that immediately follows this gospel text we want to be able to above all else know for sure what is weed and what is wheat rather than know that God is merciful and just, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  And because of this,  we heard this reading today as the parable of the soil.

Until, that is, we realized that this isn’t actually the parable of the soil at all.  It’s the parable of the Sower.  Shockingly this parable isn’t about me after all.  Here, instead of a standard by which we must judge our worthiness to receive God’s word we are offered a lush image of how God extravagantly, wastefully, wantonly sows the Word of the Kingdom.  Isaiah reminds us that God’s Word does not return empty but fulfills its purpose.  So maybe the fact that the evil one snatches the seed from those who don’t understand it is a good thing considering the role of birds in the whole process of reseeding.  They might snatch up seed but only to replant it somewhere else now perfectly encapsulated in it’s own fertilizer. 
Again and again in the midst of a thorny and rocky and good world, God sows the life-giving Word.  All we do is show up.  We hear the story again and again as it works in us, interprets us,  and despite ourselves even bears fruit and yields a hundred fold not because we’ve managed to make ourselves good soil through piety and being really really good.  No.  That would be the parable of the soil.  God’s Word lavishly scattered around us bears fruit because God’s ways are not our ways and God’s word does what it intends without even the slightest amount of soil management on our part because this is the parable of the Sower.

In my tradition, the Word – God’s Word - is first and foremost the Christ principle – the logos- God’s own self made flesh – Emmanual, God-with-us-and-for-us  - The Word, as one of my favorite theologians says- is the God who would rather die than be in the sin accounting business anymore. This is the Word to whom the scriptures bear witness.  The one who always comes to us again and again.  This God who pursues you beyond time and beyond rock and beyond soil and angst and confusion and pride.  This pursuing God, while we seek only knowledge of good soil and bad soil, in the cross this God proclaims, arms wide to the suffering of this beautiful creation, this is who I am.   Making all things new.  Making all things new.  Extravagantly sowing Christ in with and under all things, even the things we least suspect: rock, thorn, weed – us, them, you, me, good, bad….God’s inverted first shall be last, last shall be first kingdom defies our attempts to domesticate the agency of God’s Word. This is the God spoken of in Isaiah.  A God who establishes an inverted economy of free wine and milk.  A God who is continually redeeming the world and even us. God’s word does not return empty, but comes to earth enfleshed in the Christ dies and returns, scattered and sown for the good of the world endlessly pursuing you even in the midst of all the forces that would defy it. 

------------------------------------------------------

  For the interactive piece, we had set the chairs in a semi circle around a green cloth on which sat an empty, very large bowl in the middle - surrounded on 4 sides by somewhat smaller bowls filled with -1.  "soil" 2. "seed" 3. "thorn" and 4. "rock" Around the whole circle sat cushions.  Following the sermon ambient techno played while people were encouraged to sit and feel each of these things in their hands and reflect on what they represent in their lives, after which they were to toss what was in their hands into the large bowl at the center.  All of the soil, rock, thorn and seed then ended up together in the large center bowl.  This then housed the candles for our the prayers of the people which followed.

Ian Mobsby Tour

Ian Mobsby of the Moot community in London is coming to the states and Canada on a speaking tour.  If he's going to be anywhere close to you, check him out - it'll be well worth it!

Find out locations and dates here.

The House for All Sinners and Saints is hosting a forum on Neo-monasticism with Ian on June 14th at 1:30pm, St Paul's church at 1600 Grant in Downtown Denver.

Our first worship in the new space

This past Sunday House for All Sinners and Saints experienced the first of our monthly worship services.  The space we get to use is absolutely perfect: a hundred year old Lutheran church building minus the pews.  The congregation disbanded over 2 decades ago and for almost as long it has been (and continues to be) the 4 Wind Cultural Survival Project - a Native American community center.  They have allowed us to use the space on Sunday nights.  We are grateful for the relationship that is forming between the two communities but are fully aware that historically when white folks have entered Indian space things haven't gone too well.  Being guests of another cultural group in our own town is not an experience many of us as people of privilege have had and as difficult as it potentially may be for us, we see it as an opportunity to be challenged in some really beautiful and important ways.

The service was curated by the entire core crew (there are 9 of us, with 2 more joining this week).  Jason put together some ambient techno for the 10 minutes before and after the service and during the stations of the resurrection.  We sat in a semi-circle facing the West wall, above the stained glass was projected the words "I am the resurrection and the life".  The service was a traditional Eucharistic liturgy including remembrance of baptism complete with aspersion (sprinkling water from the baptismal font on folks).  The music was simple Taize chant led by a cello, a guitar and an angelic voice (Andie!).  The leader's portion of the liturgy and the gospel reading was shared by 13 different people from where we sat.  Only for the remembrance of baptism (at the font) and the Eucharist liturgy (from the altar) were the leaders standing.  In place of the sermon were the stations of the resurrection; each of the core crew creating a way for folks to experience different resurrection accounts.  Here are a few examples:

* triptych board - on the left the fist half of the John 20 account where Mary Magdalene  doesn't recognize Christ until he speaks her name....middle board ... in large print "Mary" under which are empty quotes for everyone to put their own name which Christ also speaks, on the right the continuation of the passage - in front of which is an icon of Mary Magdalene.

*Another triptych only smaller with rounded tops like an icon.  On the left, the Apostles Creed, with the "I Believe" in larger type.  On the right, the Apostle's Creed, only with "I Don't Believe" in large type beginning each article.  In the middle a question inspired by Thomas - what do we both believe and not believe at the same time?  A paper was provided for people to answer this.

*Recalling the account where Christ meets his friends on the beach - friends who were depressed about having to go back to "normal life", 2 trays of sand with small rocks and shells and a forks to move the sand around offered people a tactile meditation on how Christ calls us both into and out of life as normal which changes the contours of our lives.

37 people attended including 5 children and several people over 50.  A young woman who "hates church" (raised Missouri  Synod) sat and wept.  She told her girlfriend (one of our core crew) that it was beautiful and she'll come back.

I couldn't have been more pleased and the "success" of the service proves that I am not the one making this whole thing happen.

House For All Sinners and Saints

House For All has a facebook group now...join up!

We will start our monthly worship services next week.
Sunday April 13th 4pm at 5th and Bannock (old church on corner)
Eucharist and stations of the resurrection.

Fellowship Denver

Today as I was waiting for one of the House far All members to join me for coffee, I saw a postcard/flier with Jesus wearing gothic wings, a tongue of fire on his head.  His arms opened to 3 gothic looking skulls  below a script saying "Any Questions"  It looked really stinkin cool, so I picked it up.  It was advertising a conversation group called "discussion" about issues of spirituality and God. The values behind it are listed as Inclusivity, Honesty, Respectful Conversation and Pursuit of Truth.   Sounds cool, so I look up the church sponsoring it  Fellowship Denver I wanted to know more!

I couldn't find it on their page directly but linking to their sponsoring group, Acts 29 network, I discover that they are part of the whole Mark Driscol Mars Hill thing.  Acts 29 church plants are guided (among other things) by the following principle (this is from their website):

We are not egalitarians and do believe that men should head their homes and male elders should lead their churches with masculine love like Jesus Christ.

O.K. then.  Now I know. 

"So, are you ready for Christmas?"

People keep asking me this question: "So, are you ready for Christmas?".  What does this mean exactly?  It could mean

"So, have you exchanged bits of paper and metal and plastic for other bits of paper and metal and plastic and then wrapped the new paper and metal and plastic in colored paper, marked them with the names of your family members and put them under a tree which has been cut down from where it grows  but now stands in your home (or is also comprised of metal and plastic and lives the rest of the year in  a box in a room under which it now stands)? And have you also combined food stuffs so that they have no nutritional value but make those who eat them magically become bigger each day that they are 'getting ready for Christmas'?". 

Or does the question "So, are you ready for Christmas?" mean,

"So, are you fully prepared to receive the one who brings God to humans and humans to God by being both human and God?"

The answer to the first is "No. I haven't had time" the answer to the second is "I'm not sure I really can be"

Am I prepared for the coming of the Christ into the world? no.  Am I ready? Absolutley.
Some things we are never prepared for.  They happen anyway.
Am I ready to start a new worshipping community? yep.  Am I prepared? Not at all.  Oh yeah, I've read all the books and have completed my course work and have spent endless hours in emerging church communities, I have an amazing group of people who are committed to do this thing together etc, but I'm not prepared because I think prepared implies that I am aware of what will happen and know how to deal with it all.  Seriously, I have no idea what will happen, which is as exciting as it is terrifying.

I'm ready for Christmas because after this season of Advent I really need to hear the story of Christ's birth again.  I need to hear about how God enters fully into the muck of our existence and brings new life.  I'm ready for that because I know that I need it.

Am I prepared for Christmas?  No.  There is no way for me to know how God will bring new life into this existence - here in this place, in this life, at this time.  One thing I know is that, like the birth of Christ, it's won't be what I expect or what I think I'm prepared for.

Merry Christmas.

Finally!

There is finally a book about emerging church that is a)about EC in the mainline liturgical traditions and b) written by a woman!
Becky Garrison (senior editor for the Wittenburg Door) has written Rising From the Ashes: Rethinking Church (seabury press) which is a compilation of interviews with the likes of NT Wright, Phyllis Tickle, Pete Rollins (ikon, Belfast), Jonny Baker (Grace, London), Karen Ward (Church of the Apostles, Seattle), Ian Mobsby (Moot, London) and (for some reason) myself.

This is well worth checking out.

Solomon's Porch and emerging church stewardship

I went to worship last night at Solomon's Porch in Minneapolis with my friend Rachael.  Their space was spectacular.  I kept having the opinion that our burgeoning community should never have it's own building... that is until I walked into that one last night.  There was art everywhere, including an enormous goose flying overhead (which I believe in Celtic Christianity is a symbol of the Holy Spirit).  The sanctuary, which is sizable, was filled with sofas and easy chairs in the round.  I am in love.  Being able to sit in a comfy sofa for worship was a big plus for me (especially as it was over 2 hours long!)  Folks were friendly. The music, while not terribly conducive to congregational singing (which I am partial to), was well done and not at all vapid like in so many other churches. 
Their pastor, Doug spoke about the finances of their community.  Apparently they had been relying on a few major givers who "had the gift of giving" while others "had the gift of music, or art, or other stuff"...a system which they are now having to rethink.  This community had decided at its inception that they would plan each year's budget based on the actual giving from the previous year, rather than basing it on pledges as many churches do.   It seems as though that worked for 8 years, each year the giving having increased form the previous year... until now.  Several major givers are no longer part of the community and the church is now in a major financial crunch.  After Doug's talk a member got up to talk about tithing and rather than the "joy of giving" talk of a congregational tither, this guys gets up and basically says, "I'm here to tell you that I'm a lousy tither, seriously, it's really hard for me to give, but I want to get better at it, so let's do it together." I thought it was brilliant.

I left there thinking about the financial reality of the emerging church.  House of Mercy, another Twin Cities emerging church which must be around 10 years old now, is also in a financial crisis.

There are a few issues.  One is that the postmodern urban young adult population is not rolling in money.  But the other is the fact that we in our culture have this pernicious reality of being profoundly affluent while having a mentality of scarcity.   I include myself in this.  So a lot of folks in the emerging church think that putting $5 or $10 dollars a week in the plate is sacrificial.  But we'll buy $100 jeans and $5 coffee and $50 concert tickets.  I wonder if it will be possible in our new community just getting off the ground in Denver if we can establish a DNA of radical stewardship: environmental, physical, financial, spiritual.  It kind of has to be a whole-life thing of joy and defiance in the face of our culture of consumption and selfishness.  Giving away 10% of our family's income is a small step toward realizing that none of it is ours in the first place, so we release a small portion into the world believing that it will help  accomplish something better than if we spent it on ourselves.  We free ourselves form the bondage of that money each month and it can feel like an act of defiance, but it never feels like on obligation.  The question is how can this be shared with a new community?  Any ideas???

Pain and carnival

Wednesday night I got a half dozen friends together to begin having a conversation about the emerging church start here in Denver.  The project won't start officially until I get back from Luther Seminary in St. Paul in December (those denominational hoops must be jumped through), but I wanted to start the conversation now.  What better way to start a postmodern, urban, nu-monastic, Christian community that with dahl and beer?  So with a plate full of curried lentils, overcooked rice and just cooked tortillas, we sat down to what ended up being a really amazing conversation. Here's what I read ( pertaining to a vision of  being church in the city) from Kester Brewin's Signs of Emergence: A Vision For Church that is Organic/ Networked/ Decentralized/ Bottom-up/ Communal/ Flexible/ Always Evolving: "We are the community of the Creator, so we must create.  We are the community that looks forward to the city where divinity and humanity will live side by side, so we must give birth to an emergent, conjunctive, self-renewing, adaptable church that can model this in inclusivity, generosity,creativity and flexibility, welcoming the Other, providing true space for pain, and real time for carnival."  (143)

The idea of providing true space for pain and real time for carnival really sparked some beautiful, rich, thoughtful, hysterical ideas from the group. 

In the end I think that we all agreed that it's possible, needed and timely.

I'm so excited I can hardly sit still.

Dear God,
Make your presence known in this weird little project.  Without your guidance we're sunk.  But with the Holy Spirit in our midst things can be so crazy beautiful and more real that we can imagine.  If our pride and hurt and fear and selfishness and insecurity hinder us, as they will, be a big old carpet thrown over our brokenness over which we can scurry.  That stuff is there, but in You there is a way over.  Thanks for those spaces for pain and those times for carnival in both of which you are to be found.
In Jesus' name,
AMEN

2 am

It can be great being a gal who can get shit done.  Seriously, I can be a force.  It also sucks to be a gal who can get stuff done because then I start to believe my own press so to speak and  forget that whatever I get done is  through the grace of God and that any gifts I may have are given me to glorify God and not myself.  So I'm, "starting an emerging church" this coming January in Denver, which is thrilling and terrifying simultaneously.  Here's the idea for the community:

Basically I envision a community of exiles, agnostics and new-monastics: those who have been burned but are willing to dip their toes back in, those who struggle with belief, and those who are drawn to a whole-life faith.  These are folks who simply are not going to make the cultural commute to the traditional church.  This is a place where the experience of the Holy  takes precedence over intellectual assent to a set of unbelievable propositions - where there is a spiritual reconnoitering of the tradition, mining it for gold (liturgy, the Hours, the mystics, contemplative prayer, Thomas Merton, Bach, Dorothy Day) while being willing to consider that there is much that is tailings (I'll be generous here and refrain from listing these).  This community is deeply rooted in tradition so that it can innovate with integrity.  Radical and loving hospitality is practiced even amidst the damaged, the needy and the thoroughly annoying.  Failure, or more accurately, the inability to do these things perfectly is expected and not hidden.  Scripture is respected so deeply that it is questioned and struggled with, perhaps leaving us limping from the process, but not without us first having demanded a blessing from it. While admitting our complicity in social and environmental injustices, we strive to actively proclaim the Gospel of release to the captives and freedom to the oppressed.  We seek to be followers of the man God Jesus - where we are and as who we are...fully expecting that by dong so the who,the here and now will be transformed.  Despite the death-dealing forces of our time and in our culture, we believe that a light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not, shall not, will not, can not overcome it.

So here's the question, is this something I can do?  Like from sheer force of will? Of course not.  Is this something God can do? yes and I hope like hell that s/he shows up.  So I need to constantly remind myself of this especially on nights like this when I wake up and think "what  if I throw a church and no one shows up?".  It's not about me, I've just been given some of the gifts for being a part of the creation of a new community.  Still, I hope that folks show up.  I'll just feel like a bit of an ass if they don't, but who knows maybe that's "part of God's plan" (I hate that expression, it's as though God has everything mapquested out on some cosmic level or something, and that just seems silly to me not to mention ethically dubious on the part of God), yeah, yeah I know...God's ways are not our ways and all that...let go and let God...yada yada yada.

Holy Ghost gallery

The following are a selection from the images I curated for a visual meditation on the Holy Spirit.  I got them all off of Google.

In the installation they are viewed like this:

but for readability I've put the text below each image.

 

 

(firebreather)

Spirit:
    Maker of chaos
    resister of order
    she who takes on the world-
        breath.

    wreak havoc in complacency
    upturn smugness and self-satisfaction
    defy authorities that deflate
    challenge all powers that squeeze
    the hope out of your people
    and your church
        and breath life back in
        to a world gasping.

            breath, spirit.
            breath.

-Cheryl Lawrie

"The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes.  So it is with everyone who is born of the spirit" John 3:8

"Jesus said to them again, 'Peace be with you. As the Father sent me, so I send you.'  When he said this he breathed on them and said to them 'Receive the Holy Spirit.  If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.'"  John 20:20

"I have said these things to you while I am still with you.  But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.  I do not give as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid".   John 14:26

Young adults...the elusive demographic: just light the candles and they will come

The church is not unlike film and television.  We all are looking for that 18-35 demographic aren't we?  I was at the Rocky Mountain Synod Assembly (big Lutheran business meeting of like 540 pastors and lay leaders) over the past few days and had the chance to hostess a lunchtime conversation about the emerging church (at breakfast I told Mr. SL that I really was hoping at least 8 people would show up because with less than that, it would just be awkward) there were 45 folks who showed up! - many of whom had to sit on the floor.  I was amazed at the interest so I started out by asking folks to say who they were and why they chose this out of 20 so other options for lunch conversations.  Many were just curious about EC, some were there because the tall tattooed lady was leading it and they were frankly curious about me, and many indicated that their churches were looking at starting an alternative worship service or a second campus geared toward the "younger generation".  Here are my 2 reactions to this last group: 1) I am amazed and pleased at how much these "traditional" church folks want to reach those who are not already coming to their churches and that's a good sign that they are not entirely self-centered, which is great.  2) I unfortunately have yet to really see this work, especially if these churches are trying to reach post-moderns.  If you are reading this and you know of exceptions to this statement, please let me know, especially if these churches have managed to bring in post-moderns who are de-churched or un-churched.  I tried to lovingly tell of what I had seen across the country without being too defeatist about the whole thing.  One red flag that goes up for me when a church wants to try and attract young adults is that there is the implication that traditional congregations are normative Christian communities which everyone SHOULD want to be a part of.  I tend to resent the idea that the current manifestation of traditional church (building, pews all in a row, nicy-nice people, hymns, organ, Sunday worship, aurality as the primary sensory experience of the liturgy etc...) is NOT a single cultural expression of Christian community but the normative expression to which all deviations are judged.  My friend Annie spoke up during the conversation and said that people need to try and not see the emerging church as a resource which can be duplicated in your congregations resulting in young adults joining your church, instead folks should see these new communities as the growth of the church in a bigger sense, not simply a way to try and grow your own congregation.  To this she added that established churches should support the people who are native to the  postmodern culture and then walk away.  Pray for the people who are appropriate to and equipped for this culturally specific ministry, see that this is a needed and vital ministry that you are likely NOT equipped or appropriate for but which is in need of resources....give them money, prayer and blessing...tell the kids who grew up in your churches, but who no longer are in Christian community to check it out.  This is so needed.  Now, is that it?  No.  What trad churches can take from the emerging church is to pay attention to the questions that the EC is asking and then ask those same questions in your community.  Please don't try and have your Easter vigil in a Goth club like Church of the Apostles.  Please don't try and have a "Tomb Show" during Lent like Mercy Seat.  That would be just as silly as them trying to start a "Dorothy circle" (sorry - if you're not Lutheran, that may not make sense), or start a quilting circle because it works for your community.  But DO ask "is our worship service culturally appropriate to our context?"  and "does the language we use in our community reflect our core values?" and "are we noticing where God is already at work in our lives and in our neighborhoods, and are we willing to join in that work?"  This is what you can take form the EC: a renewed focus on mission, context and praxis.  But seriously, I have no starter kit with candles, a glue on goatee and an icon for $49.95 which will attract young adults like flies on shit, and if anyone else claims to, please never stop smacking them.

Scum of the Earth

A couple of weeks ago I visited a church in Denver called Scum of the Earth.  They meet in a huge old grocery store turned into a worship space.

Cool stuff:

• Every Sunday night before worship they serve a free meal to whoever shows up, and trust me...they show up.  Lots of Denver's homeless are fed each week as well as other folks.  A church that feeds people before feeding people is a good thing.
• The room was filled with not only the homeless, but skate punks, street kids, goths, you name it...it was difficult trying to conjure the image of another local church where these guys would be found.  I liked that my heavily tattooed arms were not looked at twice except in admiration.  This is an unusual experience for me in a church setting.

Not so cool stuff

• worship sucked ass.  Seriously.  There is a huge stage on which stood a band who played (well I might add) rocked up versions of praise songs, 3 of them, followed by a 35 minute sermon follwed by another 3 praise songs.  That's it.  That's what they did.  For a gal who's a liturgy princess, this was weird.  No ritual, no liturgy.  It felt like a birthday party without a cake or presents or decorations, just the song.
• It's no secret that I'm generally not a big fan of the praise music (to be clear, I'm all for offering thanks and praise to God, just not with vapid lyrics sung to really bad soft-rock).  I often refer to this as "Jesus is my Boyfriend" music and no shit, there was a line sung during their worship service that talked (to Jesus) in this way: "Your intoxicating scent when we meet in our secret place".  EEWWW!  I felt like I needed a shower.  You CANNOT talk about Jesus that way....creepy.
• The first words on their "Statement of Faith" sheet are as follows: We believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, free from error and the final authority in matters of life and faith. The sixty-six books of the Protestant Cannon contain God's written revelation of himself.  Which leads me to wonder "have you read the thing?"  Free from error?  Read the synoptics in parallel and get back to me on that.

Conclusion:

Not my bag theologically or liturgically (if you could even use that word).  However, they feed a bunch of folks and there are plenty of churches whose worship I love and with whose theology I agree who don't do anything close to that and where these kids would not be found.    I didn't feel like a freak at church and that was nice.  They have a Christian community with whom to worship God and that's a good thing.

Grid::Blog::Via Crucis 2007

i am part of an eccumenical international grid blod during holy week and easter (april 1- may27) - esentially that means that folks are blogging each day (I've signed on for 3 of them) and using the same title, Grid::Blog::Via Crucis 2007

it's a bit slow out there this morning, but during these two months google Grid::Blog::Via Crucis 2007 and you'll find some good stuff

if you're a blogger, consider joining in here

buy this book

Ian Mobsby of Moot in lLondon has published his MA thesis on the emerging church in the Fresh Expressions program in the Church of England...he has a pleasingly trinitarian take on post-modern Christianity. Buy it here.

new Lutheran emerging church blog

Here's a baby blog worth checking out:
emergingcuriosities

Portland Emerging Women's conference

I'm back from the Emerging Women's conference in Portland. I was nervous about going as I seldom break away from my Anglican, Episcopal, Lutheran tribe (more about that here). I thought that I, as a progressive Christian, would be hit with the scripture stick by my more conservative sisters. This did not happen, but the conference was difficult for me in an entirely different way. Seeing so many amazing women deeply wounded by the church was really tough. I met a lot of gals who were so deeply faithful and who felt a call from God to be leaders but who were told it was sinful to even presume that God would call a woman to ministry. I met gals who, even within traditions that ordain women, were told that if they were ordained, no man would ever want to marry them. (I see this as a positive selection process myself). I met older women who have engaged this struggle for decades - machete in their hands making the path that much clearer for women behind them. I too came from a religious background in which women were second class citizens, not permitted to even pray aloud if men were present, (that part of my story here), but I left that church 20 years ago and spent ten years exploring the female face of God as a way of reclaiming that of God within myself which I felt in my upbringing had been silenced. It was only after years of seeing Goddess in the world and in myself and not only God (I see these as two faces of one deity), that I was able to go back to the church...that is another story for another time. Many of my tattoos are related to this narrative in my life, including one of The Snake Goddess pictured above...she's so strong and fierce and curvy and beautiful....by claiming her in me when I was in my early twenties, I was able to come back to Christianity having learned, experienced, felt and claimed that I too am a child of the Creator. Many of the women I met this weekend are trying to go through a transformation into their own power within the church and my prayers are with them. I was glad to have been with them all. As for the Lutheran church, we have ordained women for 32 some odd years, but seriously, can 2000 years of male domination be overcome and made right in 32 years?

Dear God,
Send your healing to women who have been told that you don't want their leadership and to those who told them such a lie. Heal your church that we may feel, experience and know the wholeness you intend for us.
In Jesus' name,
AMEN

Detroit

Ryan Torma (minister of community life at Spirit Garage in Minneapolis) and I spent the last two days in Detroit. The Bishop's office there is looking at the possibility of an emerging church plant near Wayne State University and wanted our input. First of all...heaps of praise to these people (synod staff, local clergy, outreach board, Episcopal and Lutheran campus ministry) for casting a vision for something they are new to and are only in the begining stages of learning about! There's a good scene there that would lend itself well to postmodern Christian community.

Jack Eggleston from the Bishop's office drove us around downtown Detroit and I still don't quite know how to process what I saw. It was like a bombed out war zone. There were large areas with more abandoned buildings than occupied, including neighborhoods with large victorian homes which hinted at their previous beauty but are now burned up, decimated and raw. These are truly the abdandoned places of empire. Detroit never quite recovered from the race riots of the 1960's and the "White Flight" from the inner city drained the area of needed resources and infastructure. Today in Detroit, one block will be abandoned and another will hold a row of new lofts. One block will have only a run down liquor store with barred windows and the next will host a new gallery and hipster bar. I guess it felt weird to say to them that yeah, there's a happenin' arts and music scene and the creative class are moving back to the city, and then have nothing to say about the death and hopelessness surrounding the "hip scene". The whole experience was darkly and unavoidably punctuated by a reality I would rather not know about...but don't have the option of ignoring anymore.

I don't even have a prayer for this. Do any of you?

a confession

Personal confession:
I have such an antipathy for conservative-jesus-as-your-personal-lord-and-savior Christianity, and let's face it, Christians themselves- that it's a sin. Seriously, I hate that whole thing. I hate the smugness, the certainty, the Biblical (selective) literalism. I hate the exclusion of women (usually) and of gays (always). And it's not that I just don't understand it, trust me I do. I was raised in the Church of Christ - not the United Church of Christ mind you...the Church of Christ, which is like Baptist Plus. I can recite the party line with the best of them and I will go to any lengths to avoid being around these people. I feel like wearing a shirt everyday that says "I'm not that kind of Christian". Basically I find the whole thing profoundly creepy and uncomfortable. It's ok for me to disagree with them theologically, but I take it to the next level. If I am called to love those who persecute me (or, in my opinion, persecute the Gospel), then I'm doing a lousy job and that's not ok. I guess I'm saying I need to love the sinner but hate the bad theology. Or maybe I'm to just love the person and stop being such a theological bigot.

I am uncomfortable with a whole lot of Christianity. But the thing is, I'm Christian (note I didn't say "a" Christian...as that, to me, plays into the whole Western individualism gone amuck in the church thing ....another example of which is the "personal" lord and savior bit...you know - "personal trainer", "personal shopper", "personal assistant" and "personal lord and savior") Anyhow, in the emerging church conversation I have limited my interactions and conversation (almost) exclusively to my fellow Lutheran/Anglican tribe members and have avoided the post-evangelicals. This exhibits an enormous amount of hubris on my part, but there it is.

Here's why I'm struggling with this right now. There is an emerging women's blog that I occasionally try and participate in, they're a fine group of gals but I have no patience for comments sometimes left about how "unfortunate it is that there is swearing in the posts on a Christian blog". This nicey-nice Christian crap is why so many people want nothing to do with us. Are we really serving the gospel this way? In all fairness I'm sure my critics would say the same about the fact that I basically swear like a truck driver. Anyway, there is an emerging women's gathering in Portland that I'm considering attending. This is a huge step for me - to be willing to step outside my tribe a bit. So I poked around on the web looking for information about the event. I found a list of the organizers and looked at the home page from one of their churches. It looked amazing with lots of street kids and crazy dreadlocked pastors, but on their "about us" page the first thing was that "we believe the Bible is inerrant and totally true", which made me want to never stop slapping them. I couldn't simply think "huh, interesting" and leave it at that...no, it became personal. The thing is, I've met this woman and she's absolutely lovely...we just have differing views on scripture. I feel like maybe I'm ready to start getting over this enormous bias of mine, - which does nothing to improve the theology of my subjects, but simply unsettles me and feels like crap. Maybe it's time to put my theological money where my mouth is and BE a reconciling person in the world, not one who sets up more division between myself and others. You know, I travel all the time and attend events and meeting, consultations and planning teams with people who are my theological fellows. Perhaps I might gain something from being around people who also are Christian but who might have more traditional views than I. Perhaps God can actually be at work with and among decision-theology types. I suppose on some level my reaction against the evangelicals is a defense measure. Who I am was not ok to the conservative Christians in the church I was raised in and in order to avoid that awful feeling I reject them before they can reject me. OK, I get it. Once again God is speaking to me. The message is almost always the same: Get Over Yourself. But it's really hard.

A Prayer is needed:
Dear God,
Your followers make me crazy. I'm totally a jerk about this and I'm sorry. It'd be great if maybe you could try and improve some of the theology on the ground here, and if that's not going to happen then help me to not be so arrogant. Be with those whom I find most irritating and show me how to love them. This is pretty much only going to happen by your grace, which in the past has done for me what I could never do for myself, so I'm trusting you again. Your will, not mine be done (we can all be thankful for that)
In Jesus' name,
AMEN

AAR highlights

I just returned from the American Academy of Religion's annual conference which was held this year in Washington DC. Here are some highlights:
* eating dinner Friday night with about 30 Lutheran women theologians and scholars
* presiding at a session on religion and spirituality among the Deaf
* going for an hour long morning run in which I passed the Washington memorial phallus, I mean obelisk, the Lincoln memorial and the Vietnam memorial (I cried as I walked past those names thinking of all the families (on both sides) whose loved ones are dying right now in Iraq.
* Spending time with my friend Sara who's so smart and funny I can hardly stand it, and Ryan Torma who is my Partner in Lutheran emerging church crime.
* going salsa dancing until 2am with Sara, Ryan and this random Swiss guy we met (Christoph, who's absolutley lovely) who I referred to as "Zwingli" all night ...
* Hearing Brian McLaren, Peter Rollins and Phyllis Tickle's panel on emerging church. They were all brilliant.
* Theology Pub with the above, and about 40 others - scholars, Baptists, Nazarenes, Anglicans...it was a good conversation with lots of cross-pollination.
* Hearing papers on Men's studies in Religion; Men's studies is a perspective I've not experienced and hearing about men struggling with the nature of masculinity was really interesting ("Zwingli" was on this panel)
* Experiencing a Smithsonian exhibit on Bibles before the year 1000. It was thrilling to see these ancient codexes and illuminated manuscripts. (the guy at the convention book exhibit noticed how enthralled I was with the enormous, full-color coffee table book on the "Bibles before the Year 1000" exhibit and he asked if I was a starving grad student, I replied that indeed I was and that I could never afford such a book, but that I appreciated how totally beautiful it is...he then proceeded to slip it into a nice shoulder bag and say "then this is something that would probably mean a great deal to you, right?" and handed it to me with a smile.)
* Coming home and being with my kids this morning.

Brian McLaren and Pete Rollins

I will be hostessing a Theology Pub in Washington DC featuring Rollins and McLaren on November 19th at 7pm: Capital City Brewing Company across from the DC convention center, on the corner of 11th & H Streets NW in downtown DC. This is following a panel they are participating on at the AAR conference.

Show up. It won't suck.

If anyone reading this is going to be at the AAR/SBL (if you don't know what this is, trust me, you wouldn't care anyway...it's the American Academy of Reigion/ Society for Biblical Literature's annual meeting with like 10,000 academic study of religion geeks...a true nerdfest if ever there was one...see told you you wouldn't care) I am presiding at a session on Saturday morning on religion and spirituality among the Deaf, come say hi.

Ordination Island

Happy happy (I'm actually not being sarcastic) I met with my candidacy committee yesterday and they didn't vote me of ordination island, (which means they endorsed me). Also, they greenlighted my non-traditional internship, which is very good news indeed. This means that rather than going to a completely traditional parish somewhere and serving as their vicar for a year, I get to start my emerging church plant process while working with local congregational partners (so that I can become part of their communities and have regular opportunities to preach). Hopefully these partners will continue supporting the mission start. Needless to say, I'm pretty psyched about the whole thing...thanks for all of you who held me in their thoughts and prayers this week.

What is Emerging church, does it matter?

So, what is Emerging Church?

This is what people often ask me, and despite loads of "conversation" I still am unable to give what I consider to be a good answer. I know what I mean when I use the term, but that is certainly not a universal conception. The emerging churches that I have encountered have, to a great extent, been comprised of urban, post-modern, progressive young adults who are missionally minded, committed to community and spiritual practice while figuring out what it means to be followers of Christ in the messy, ambiguous world in which they find themselves. These communities vary greatly in "worship style"- from old-timey country to jazz, from techno-liturgica to rock and roll so it's surprising to me when those outside of the emerging church think it's about a worship style (this is due in large part, I would guess, to Zondervan Publishing Dan Kimball's books which are everywhere, these books are not without merit, but certainly not representative of the EC that I am familiar with)
What I often find is that people will take the missional and contextual piece of the EC and say, well, isn't my traditional rural ministry of mostly 70 year olds "emerging" because we are missional and contextual? Well, not really. This is not to say that you're not engaged in amazing and creative ministry, but to me, it doesn't line up culturally with the EC. But no one wants to say this. We all want to say "sure, you're emerging too, everyone is emerging...now let's hold hands and sing a song", but how accurate is that if almost all of the communities who are seen as emerging are young urban and post-modern? If the movement started out in this urban, postmodern cultural context, then do we use the same term for ministries outside of that cultural context, who are also missional? Now, I know this isn't the most profound thing to be thinking about, but I just find it weird. If the Spanish speaking Latino ministries are missional and contextual, then can I call my postmodern emerging church a Latino ministry because we are missional and contextual?
Am I just trying to be an elitest asshole?
Don't get me wrong, I think all of the church should be missional and contextual. I suspect that the way in which the emerging church will, in the end, influence the broader church is in this post-Christendom reorientation toward mission and context...which would be an amazing contribution.
For myself, all I can do is swear that I will not use the words "missional" and "contextual" again for a long, long time....I've clearly used my quota.

Esther

The Hebrew Bible readings from the lectionary lately have all been from the book of Esther and have made me recall one of the most powerful moments of my life, which occurred last year. I was raised in a fundamentalist church which did not permit women to even pray aloud in front of men. My parents attend a more evangelical than fundamentalist church in that denomination now (Church of Christ), but their church still does not permit women to have any sort of leadership in worship, down to forbidding them to be the ushers passing the collection plates. When I realized I was called to ordained ministry (I make this sound so simple, when in fact it was very messy and difficult), I was nervous about telling my parents for fear they wouldn't support my call. I very nervously told them that I felt called to emerging church ministry and that all the things that made me somewhat inappropriate for regular parish ministry (too tattooed, too sarcastic, too foul-mouthed...I could go on...) actually uniquely qualified me for emerging church mission development. My father stood up, got his Bible and read the verse from Esther when she goes to her uncle and says she's nervous about what God is calling her to do, to which her uncle says "you were born for such a time as this" (my paraphrase obviously). My parents then embraced me and prayed for God's blessing on my ministry. I can't express the grace in that moment.

Image is from the Veggie Tales video "Esther" in which Esther is a scallion of some sort and king Ahasuerus is, I believe, a pickle. Seriously, I really couldn't make this shit up.

Are you an ass? I am.

One issue I struggle with is that of becoming an asshole...I mean, more of an asshole.  I'm embarking on starting an "emerging church" in Denver (eventually) and am wondering how I might keep from thinking I'm some sort of ecclesiastical rock star.  God has given me some very public gifts for ministry, great.  I find myself simultaneously craving and repulsed by people's praise of my gifts.  This morning I stumbled on Brother Martin's (Luther)thoughts on this matter from his "Preface to the Wittenburg edition" (1539 ce) He's brilliant, self-effacing, and funny as hell:

If, however, you feel that you are inclined to think you have "made it", flattering yourself with your own little books, teaching, or writing, because you have done it beautifully and preached excellently; if you are highly pleased when someone praises you in the presence of others; if you perhaps look for praise, and would sulk or quit what you are doing if you do not get it  - if you are of that stripe, dear friend, then take yourself by the ears, and if you do this in the right way you will find a beautiful pair of big, long, shaggy donkey ears.  Then do not spare any expense! Decorate them with golden bells, so that people will be able to hear you wherever you go, point their fingers at you, and say, "See, See! There goes that clever beast, who can write such exquisite books and preach so remarkably well."

A prayer for today:
Dear God,
Thank you for my gifts.  May they always be used to point to you and not to myself.  I understand this is not likely to happen, but perhaps with your help I might be less of an asshole.
In Jesus' name,
AMEN

Blog Day 2006

Apparently today is Blog Day 2006. I'm not entirely sure what that means exactly, but I know that I should list 5 blogs I like that I haven't mentioned before:
eclectic itchings
ninja nun
stupid church people
swan dive
emerging women

Theology Pub

Tonight is the first monthly Theology Pub at the Mercury in Denver. This event is my idea and I am the hostess, therefore a prayer is in order:
"Dear God,
Bless this weird little thing where strangers gather over beer to talk about our experiences of you. May those who participate be brought closer to you. Above all God, please help me to not get in the way because you and I are both aware of my ability to fuck things up, and without you I am sunk."
In Jesus name,
AMEN.

Smells like Jesus

I am reading 2 Corinthians right now and love this passage:

For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not peddlers of God's word like so many; but in Christ we speak as persons of sincerity, as persons sent from God and standing in God's presence.

Questions:

1) How exactly do we go about smelling of Christ? Really this is such a weird notion: being the aroma of Christ. But perhaps it's pretty cool too. Smell is the greatest trigger for memory. If we can be the aroma of Christ, do we in our spirit, actions and words bring others to the memory of themselves as Imago Dei (made in the image of God)?

2) Who is sufficient for these things? Me? (perhaps) You? (perhaps) Pat Robertson? (no fu**ing way) Does hate, whether it is from Pat Robertson against gays, or from myself against Pat Robertson carry the aroma of Christ? Not so much, huh? It's amazing how vitriolic I can be about the religious right's vitriol. I'm a big fat hypocrite, of course this qualifies me to be a Christian, so there you go.

I'm kind of digging the word sufficient. Not perfect, not ideal, but sufficient. Kind of an easier mark to aim for.

3) I'm also digging the distinction between being peddlers of God's word and being sincere in Christ and standing in God's presence. Here is a distinction that I always look for in theology: does it point to me, or does it point to God?

the holy observer

Here is a "story" from The Holy Observer, which is sort of like The Onion for Christians -

Local Emergent Church Recedes

Rancho Buena Vista Community Church, until recently called Vista Journey, has "receded" from the "emergent" church movement, according to its pastor, Andrew Hardy. "Actually, Rancho Buena Vista Community Church was always our name. We only changed it for about six months while we were trying to 're-vision' ourselves in a way that would reach out to the 'postmodern' culture," said Hardy, making heavy use of air quotes. "Yeah, we were really into that whole 'emergent' thing for quite a while. But it got old real fast. Like I'm really gonna preach in a recliner for the rest of my career! I finally decided 'emerging' wasn't for us, and so I called a meeting of the 'Vision Keepers,' our fancy name for an elders board. We just decided to go back to being a regular old receding church."