***WARNING*** I briefly mention menstruation in this post.
There are several problems and benefits to being a somewhat controlling person. One of the drawbacks to control freakness is that one can become so confident in their own agency in the world, that is to say, one's ability to make things happen through sheer will and effort, that when an outside force interferes and produces an unwanted and unplanned for outcome, the control freak wants to either a) try and figure out what they did wrong by replaying every tiny detail...this is a way of still trying to avoid admitting that one cannot control everything, or b) hurt somebody. Today's race was an interesting experience in loss of control, not my favorite thing. I felt great at mile 5, in at 49:00 minutes...right on track, when I doubled over in abdominal pain, not a side stitch I could wait out, but real pain. I thought "ok, this is the tough patch for today's race, I'll take it easy for a minute until it passes and then run like hell to catch up...it didn't pass. I felt strong, but every time I would try and run hard I would increase the pain. At mile 6 I was doubled over crying like a baby. I prayed, I stretched, I walked...nothing worked. I finished the race, but was in pain the whole way and could only manage to jog. There was a beautiful downhill on the final 3 miles which I wanted to run hard, but I simply couldn't. At the end of my race I went to the bathroom and my period started. Did I somehow displease the "never race during the 2 hours before you menstruate" Gods? Who knows. I do feel like it was a lesson in letting go and going more slowly than I want to, which I need to learn in general. I'm gonna kick the ass of the next 1/2 marathon, I swear to God.
The good things:
This was my first race of this type, so my PR (personal record) for the half-marathon will be easy for me to beat.
I'm still having gutt pain, so the problem wasn't because of something I ate or did before or during the race.
I love this distance and am ready to plan the next one.